‘B’ in ‘LGB’ stands for bisexuality, proudly
By Melissa Vogel
I don’t know about you, but I’ve found all the coming out
stories being shared this week to be incredibly inspiring. Rather
than go through all the details of my life history, though, I’d
rather share some of the thoughts I have of my first year as an out
member of the lesbian, gay and BISEXUAL community. Yes, I
capitalized BISEXUAL for a reason. As happy as I am to see greater
recognition of what the "B" in "LGB" stands for, I can’t help but
be a little frustrated that my fellow bisexuals and I still need to
work on being seen and heard even within the gay community.
Bisexuals often face three major problems in both the straight
and gay communities: being forgotten, misunderstood or downright
hated. My experience has primarily been that people simply forget
we exist. I can’t count how many times I’ve spoken up to add
"bisexual" to the end of someone’s statement about the gay and
lesbian community.
But that is a simple problem, easily solved by outspoken people
like myself. The misunderstandings arise not only from stereotypes
about bisexuals, but from sheer ignorance as well. Although I
normally welcome questions like, "So, what does that mean?" or
"Aren’t you just confused?" it can also be offensive after awhile.
But the worst encounters I’ve had come from people who despise
bisexuals. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay or straight; most people
who dislike us do so out of fear. To them, bisexuals represent that
part of themselves they have not yet come to terms with.
Bisexuals stand up in our bipolar,
everything-has-to-be-black-and-white culture and say, "I joyfully
accept and embrace the ambiguity and complexity within myself."
That’s quite a scary proposition for the average American of any
race, culture, gender or sexual orientation. Those who come out and
confront that fear deserve to be admired for their courage and
strength. And it is those courageous people that have helped me
open the door to a new dimension in my life.
By coming out this past year, I have not only made some
wonderfully loving, intelligent friends; I have discovered a
missing piece of myself. I feel it every time I am surrounded by
members of the LGB community (or Allies) who accept and welcome me
for who I am. I feel it every time I come out to yet another
unsuspecting acquaintance. And I feel it as I write this. Happy
National Coming Out Week, UCLA!
Vogel is a senior anthropology student specializing in women’s
studies.