A UCLA women’s lacrosse player stands on the sidelines, forced to watch practice as a spectator again. Her teammates race back and forth across the field, scrambling for control of the small, yellow ball.
Some days, like on this particular day, the pain in Kate Armstrong’s right knee – covered by a black knee brace – is too strong.
The fourth-year art student, who can often be seen running with a slight, just-pronounced-enough-to-catch limp during the action, is forced to remove herself from the evening’s practice partway through.
Nearly every day, her mind and body are at a crossroads, the longing to play the sport she loves conflicting with chronic knee pains – the result of five surgeries in seven years time.
“It’s heartbreaking a little bit as a coach. They do this because they love the sport; they do this because they love their teammates,” said coach Paige Lin. “So it’s hard to see someone who has so much love for the game and for the team and to be unable to contribute on the field consistently.”
As the Bruins head to nationals Wednesday, Armstrong, one of team’s three captains who is also set to graduate this spring, will play in the final games of her lacrosse career this week. Her journey in the sport, spanning 11 years with more downs than ups at times, is in its twilight.
Things began to veer off course for Armstrong just two years into her lacrosse career. During an eighth-grade lacrosse game, as she neared the opponent’s goal, stepped, planted and shot the ball, the bottom half of her leg stayed facing one way as the rest of her body turned another way.
Her ACL snapped, and her MCL and meniscus tore, all in one go.
“She was devastated. It was painful … (but) I think she used all this anger and frustration … (and) she channeled it,” said Anne Armstrong, Kate Armstrong’s mother. “It made her so determined to get better and come back.”
That determination, though, would be tested time and time again.
In Armstrong’s first surgery, the doctors used parts of her hamstring to create a new ACL for her – ideally as good as new. Months after, she knew this was not the case. Each time she bent and straightened her knee, a popping occurred.
“It was very painful and we didn’t know what it was, because I did fall down the stairs once,” Armstrong said. “So we weren’t sure if I injured myself or it was from the surgery.”
The constant clunking brought her back to the doctor in search of a solution. Soon, arthroscopic surgery – a procedure used to look inside the area for problems and remove any extraneous scar tissue – took place, but no answers came of it. More doctor’s visits and another arthroscopic surgery later, the results remained inconclusive.
“It was frustrating, and we thought … if she worked hard (the popping) would go away, and then it didn’t go away and she got more frustrated,” Armstrong’s mother said. “(But Kate) wanted it. She went through everything. … she did what they told her to do because she was not going to give up lacrosse.”
In Armstrong’s junior year of high school, her third arthroscopic procedure and her fourth time under the knife in as many years proved more conclusive.
The doctors discovered her repaired ACL had been placed slightly too vertical and consequently would rub against her bone every time she straightened her leg. She needed a new ACL and another surgery to correct the previous error. To undergo a fifth procedure, however, was no easy choice.
“At that point, it was like a really hard decision because I had had so many surgeries, and every time you go in, your leg’s not going to be the same,” Armstrong said.
“So I think in some parts, it seems very reckless to keep doing it because you’re obviously not going to recover fully from that, but at the same time, (the popping) was so painful for me (in everyday life) … that it was worth it (to have the) surgery.”
In order to play during her senior season of high school and her freshman year at UCLA, she decided the surgery could wait. Between her freshman and sophomore years, Armstrong had her knee repaired yet again and sat out her entire second season.
A season’s worth of lost playing time did little to keep her away from the sport. Armstrong attended every single one of the Bruins’ practices and games, home or away, though she was by no means required to do so.
The following year, when Armstrong returned in the second half of the season, her string of knee pains did as well, physically limiting her to less than a third of the minutes in those games.
By many accounts, this year has been a better one than previous years for Armstrong. Despite persistent knee problems, she has played in the majority of the Bruins’ games and participates in much of the team’s practices, even if she has to excuse herself at some point during the affair.
“I think Kate is probably one of the strongest people that I honestly have ever met,” said Molly Tracy, the club’s president and a third-year economics student. “She probably puts in more time than anyone on the team and for not a ton of playing time ’cause of her knee.”
As it is, the toll of the many surgeries could very well leave Armstrong’s knee arthritic by age 40. For much of her time as a lacrosse player, perhaps the decision to call it quits would have been suitable, and more often than not, it’s the route others would have chosen.
Armstrong, though, saw none of the same perspectives along her journey.
“It was never a thing of where it was like, ‘Should I quit?'” she said. “That was never a question in mind, ever.”