Doug Lief  Lief is a third-year
psychology and English student who doesn’t want to be born
again, as the process sounds very painful for his mother. Contact
him at dlief@ucla.edu. Click
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Religion and politics have always had an awkward relationship.
Religion is sort of like politics’ unemployed uncle, the guy
you invite to the Christmas party because you have to, even though
he’s going to get drunk and make trouble by hitting on one of
his more distant cousins, maybe liberty. The only difference in
this election is that instead of a Christmas party, it’s a
Bris gone awry.
I am talking about the recent controversy over the orthodoxy of
Joe Lieberman. Lieberman has made much of his faith, and his faith
in his faith, and that he has faith that his faith will be faithful
in bringing out faith in others. Faith Hill declined to comment, as
she was naked in a desert.
In fact, Lieberman’s faith healing has become so visible
that the Anti-Defamation League (which annually competes in a
rousing softball game against the League of Justice, go Aquaman!)
publicly issued a complaint, saying they were against religion in
politics in any form. In other words, “Lieberman,
that’s not kosher.”
What the ADL did was utterly stupid from a political standpoint.
The ADL is going to support the Democrats anyway, so why publicly
damage their own candidate? They behaved like Ike Turner, smacking
Tina around and then making her sing for him. Well Joe, it looks
like you better follow Tina’s lead and get those hardest
working legs in politics out of Nutbush.
 Illustration by JASON CHEN/Daily Bruin Senior Staff
Speaking of Nutbush, G.W. (the C average governor, not the
university) hasn’t exactly kept himself free of religion
either. Remember when John McCain said he wasn’t a “Pat
Robertson Republican?” G.W. took the more traditional and
convenient road to the right, to the people who put the
“mental” in fundamentalism. They’re the ones who
want to post the Ten Commandments up in schools, as if the
Trenchcoat Mafia would have stopped at Columbine’s doors and
said, “Hey guys, we can’t kill people. They put up a
sign.” They’re the ones who want to make sure that
everyone prays to their personal savior before a football game
because if there’s one thing Jesus loves, it’s gridiron
violence.
Although the ADL’s tactics were out of line, their message
was right on target. While faith has its place in American life, it
has no place in American politics. While I do not doubt the
sincerity of the candidates’ piety, its movement to the
forefront is an obvious ploy to attract the swing voters in the
states where God apparently claims residency (though if I were God
I wouldn’t set foot in Mississippi).
Why has religious faith become such a central issue in this
race? The fact is that in the mind of the average religious voter,
if a candidate goes to church a lot and can quote chapter and
verse, he must be moral and trustworthy. “I’m a good
family man,” say the candidates. Functioning reproductive
organs aren’t much of a yardstick for morality. Just because
a politician cloaks himself in holy robes, it doesn’t mean
he’s wearing anything under them.
G.W. even claimed his favorite political philosopher was Jesus
Christ, hardly a “subliminal” nod to the Christian
Coalition types. Bush isn’t likely to pick a real political
philosopher like James Madison, whom Bush believes invented the
light bulb. In fact, Jesus is probably the only
“philosopher” G.W. knows by name. I say, if Jesus is a
political philosopher then Moses is a hydrodynamic engineer.
Some have said that the fact that people are more tolerant of
Lieberman’s stumping implies a double standard. “If it
was a Christian talking about their faith,” they say,
“people would be up in arms.” They’re right. This
country is far more nervous about a Christian fundamentalist making
policy decisions than a Jewish one. There is a simple reason for
this difference: Christians are scary.
Well, that’s an oversimplification. What I mean by that is
that there is always something scary about an overwhelming
majority, especially when there’s an accompanying dogma. I
grew up as one of a handful of Jews in a highly goyisha (Yiddish
for “non-Jewish”) town, and let me tell you that when
Christmas rolled around I felt like the lone straight guy at a Cher
concert. It’s intimidating being surrounded by a mass of
people who believe differently than you, particularly when they
organize to affect governmental policy.
Furthermore, clergy members seem to hand out far too many
flyers. To all of you, religious or otherwise, who feel the need to
inundate the rest of us with flyers, why not just throw the paper
in the garbage can yourselves and leave out the middleman?
Another reason for the double standard is that for a long time
now the Christian right has been trying to assume a missionary
position with the rest of the country. Jews, on the other hand, are
not out to recruit. You will never hear a knock at your door and
find a rabbi handing out flowers and Torahs and denouncing Darwin.
Therefore there is little to fear from Lieberman in power, because
according to the principles of Judaism itself (which don’t
require membership in the religion to get into heaven), he will not
make policies that force his religious beliefs on others.
For example, had Pat Robertson’s presidential campaign in
1988 succeeded, it would be a safe bet he would have fought hard to
put Jesus in the classroom. But if elected, I would bet Lieberman
doesn’t do anything to remove pork from school
cafeterias.
A side note to all those who want prayer in schools: it already
exists. I think every student has intoned the following: Oh Lord,
in Thy grace and mercy, spare me Thy wrath in the form of Thy
in-class essays of three, Thy interminable logarithms, and thy
memorized primate anatomy, and deliver us from Thy judgment on
Finals Week.
Wouldn’t it be nice to have faith in our politicians
before we worry how much faith they put in something else? I want
to hear proof of honesty, not proof of church attendance. I
don’t care what Jesus has done for them. I do care what they
have done to help others (Dick Cheney only gave one percent of his
$20,000,000 earnings to charity). Why is it that the same
politicians who tout themselves as good Christians are the same
ones who are quick to cut the most charitable programs the
government offers? Maybe we can’t miraculously feed all the
homeless on some fishes and loaves, but that doesn’t mean we
should eliminate food stamps.
I am not insinuating that people’s faith in God is
worthless; far from it. But when people argue that the words
“In God We Trust” appear on a quarter, I feel tempted
to remind them that the word “Liberty” appears on the
quarter in far larger letters than any other text on the coin.
Although the Declaration of Independence declares people are
“endowed by their creator with certain inalienable
rights,” there is a very good reason that the creator is not
mentioned by name.
The last time we let religion interfere heavily with American
politics nineteen people were burned as witches. I guess if you
love God enough you have no compunction with setting granny ablaze.
Whether you’re playing for Team Jesus or Team Kreplach, being
an MVP or a benchwarmer shouldn’t matter off the field.