Monday, August 5, 1996
Olympic regalia, restroom etiquette take center stageATLANTA,
Ga. — It would be a counterproductive and self-destructive effort
to try and capture the intense drama and agonizing melodrama of the
Olympic Games in a single column. After all, how could I ever
compete with NBC’s vignettes about some wrestler’s family
catastrophe or a gymnast who spent her childhood in a training
center. More daunting still is the challenge of trying to outdo the
simpering, obnoxious voice-over of that piano-playing maniac John
Tesh. No, instead, a collection of stories that NBC failed to pick
up would be a more appropriate endeavor.
One thing that no attendee of the Olympics is immune to is pin
trading. Silly bits of metal with gaudy Olympic designs that cost a
fortune attract passersby like nothing else. All along the
sidewalks by Centennial Olympic Park, you see them, slathering
packs of people with hats encrusted with these pins. As a
recovering baseball card collector, I know about such fanaticism.
And in downtown Atlanta, it was not the dollars that held sway, it
was the pin.
For all of the tales of long lines and lack of facilities on
site, there is one story so completely in opposition that it must
be brought to light. At the tennis venue at Stone Mountain, there
were two attendants in Olympic worker’s uniforms in the men’s
restroom. They walked through the facility calling out in a loud
voice "Is the Olympic toilet paper satisfactory to everyone?" When
no consensus was reached from those in the stalls, the attendants
called out "If you’re happy flush."
Every once in a while on ESPN’s Sportscenter, there will be
footage of some coach making a complete ass of himself arguing a
call or shrieking at his players. It was nice to see that in a show
of Olympic togetherness and unity, that code of behavior has become
internationally accepted.
The Russian women’s volleyball coach put on a display that makes
Bobby Knight look passive, and with the semifinal play less than
scintillating, he was the main source of entertainment. During a
point, his right leg would kick spasmodically and his face would
contort until the point finally would end in an orgasmic lurch.
With the on-court action stopped, he would then berate his team at
a level that overpowered the packed Omni crowd. Woody Hayes, eat
your heart out.
Mark Shapiro is a Daily Bruin columnist who attended the Olympic
games in Atlanta.