Wednesday, October 7, 1998
Admitting bias first step to curing phobia
PHOBIA: Theology,
society prevent people from recognizing gay stereotypes
By Julianne Sohn
Homophobia, according to my cute, red Webster dictionary, is an
"unreasonable aversion to homosexuals and homosexuality."
Before I delve into this topic, let me confer with good, old
philosopher Friedrich Nietzche. He once said, "He who fights with
monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a
monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes
into you."
It was a queer, cool winter day at UC(Hell)A – more queer than
my twisted brain could have imagined. There I sat in a classroom in
the frigid bowels of the Fowler building, staring at the overhead
projection of two naked women kissing in bed.
I squirmed in my chair and thought, "How does that work? Things
don’t quite fit together there. Don’t those get in the way."
Something dark and unpleasant oozed up into my consciousness
during those initial moments in my Anthropology class on
homosexuality, but as usual I let my eyes glaze over and pushed
these thoughts out of my mind.
After 10 grueling weeks of ditching class and procrastinating, I
managed to pass the class taking with me only the knowledge that I
was homophobic. I guess I wasn’t completely immune from the
brainwashing that occurs to some people raised in conservative
Orange County.
In the dusty files of my past, I recall several seemingly
innocent moments when I learned that being a homosexual was
something that one shouldn’t aspire to be. I played quite a few
games of "smear the queer," and my older brother Richard always
made it a point to ask me, "Are you a homosexual or a Homo
sapien?"
For some reason, I always chose the label that would make my
brother bust up laughing. Boy, those two words sound the same.
(This is probably because homosexuals are in fact Homo sapiens. The
sad truth is that this may be news to some people out there.)
Growing up in a predominately Republican neighborhood, I learned
that gays and lesbians belonged in the "them" category, and I
should always make it a point not to be one of "them."
While forced to go to the earthly purgatory of church, I learned
that homosexuality was indeed a sin. To engage in such unnatural
acts may earn a person a one-way ticket to hell. The message is
fairly clear from Christians in general – "Hate the sin and love
the sinner." So there is still time to save one’s soul.
(By the age of 9, I knew that I would be cast down into the lake
of fire with all the other sinners because I was beginning to
believe that God did exist, but he wasn’t listening. Hell sure
sounds more interesting than trying to get the attention of an
omnipotent being who is staring off into space. Where else can you
hang out with lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people,
various insane people and atheist philosopher types?)
After leaving the church, I had more time to escape reality, not
that church isn’t an escape from reality. I soon learned the
stereotypes of what entails sure signs of "gayness" by watching
movies and shows from the insane idiot box. Even with this newfound
knowledge, I never really put much thought into trying to figure
out if someone was gay or not. I’m usually the last person to know
because I obviously have defective "gay-dar." Actually, I’m just a
blatant heterosexist and naturally assume that people are straight.
(Not that I’m saying that being gay is crooked.)
I had an interesting conversation in a political science class
with a friend a few years ago. I was explaining how I was starting
to date this guy and my friend just stared at me in disbelief.
After I finished telling him my story, he said, "I’m sorry if this
offends you, but I just thought that you were, you know … I mean,
a lot of people have thought that I was gay, too, because of the
way I talk and act."
My friend and I then discussed various stereotypes of gays and
lesbians.
For instance, there seems to be a vague correlation between
effeminate guys and show tunes, and gayness. And it seems that most
Physical Education teachers are lesbians. (My P.E. teacher was not
only a lesbian, but in early June of my senior year in high school,
she shot her ex-lover and another woman. She was the only teacher
to ever make me "student of the month.")
I was perplexed. These exchanges were happening more frequently.
I was beginning to wonder why certain people always brought up the
topic of homosexuality with me for my opinions. Even while I was
still a cadet in Army ROTC, I had a totally "out" lesbian say that
I was a "hella dyke." Was there something these people knew that I
didn’t?
My reaction to all this was to ignore these incidents. (Or at
least try to ignore them.) So, somehow I found myself in a
homosexuality class last winter quarter. I reluctantly signed up
for it so that I could take a class with a friend. (And it did
fulfill a requirement.)
Although I didn’t learn much from the class by choice, it did
serve as an odd catalyst for some serious introspection as to the
root of my homophobia. So I spent the following quarter researching
Christianity and the LGBT community in Japan. I attended some
fellowship meetings, and I also mustered up the energy to go to the
LGBT Resource Center in Kinsey Hall.
What I learned from all that research was that before I can
objectively study a group or culture, I must identify my bias. I
finally admitted to harboring homophobic feelings. This helped me
overcome the roadblocks that I had built for myself while taking
the homosexuality course.
Our society has quite a ways to go in terms of acceptance of
certain groups. It’s not that one must agree with a group’s agenda
or even like them, but merely accept that these groups exist and
have a right to exist without chronic harassment.
In last week’s issue of "The Advocate," the national gay and
lesbian newsmagazine, the main story dealt with college students
and their perspective of being "out" at school. (That couldn’t be
UCLA on the cover … could it?) A story called "The Christian
Closet," by Ted Gideonse, particularly caught my interest. Gideonse
describes a gay college student named Dave who was attending a
religious college. A fellow student handed Dave a note that read,
"Faggot: you’re going to hell." Dave told a professor, who replied,
"If you are a faggot, then you deserve that treatment."
Institutionalized injustices such as the "don’t ask, don’t tell"
policies in the military is hard evidence that there is a need for
a change in attitude. (Not that this is going to happen for quite a
long time.)
In the end, what matters is who we love regardless of gender,
age, ethnicity and religious preference. My dear, insane
philosopher-friend Nietzche once wrote, "That which is done out of
love always takes place beyond good and evil." What a crazy man!
Can love really transcend good and evil? I think so.
Comments, feedback, problems?
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