Yule logs are flaming, chestnuts are roasting, and reindeer
hooves are pitter-pattering all over the free-exercise Claus of the
First Amendment, which happens to guarantee the right to practice
one’s religion without government interference.
Christmas is the only religious holiday in America that is also
a federal holiday, which might be a bit unsettling for First
Amendment sticklers. For now, let’s let that one slide.
The new issue at hand is that we are at war. No, not the war on
terror ““ the war on Christmas. Sound stupid? It is.
The argument is as simple as it is ridiculous. Somewhere along
the road, someone decided that saying “Happy Holidays”
as opposed to “Merry Christmas” bastardizes the
religious spirit of the sacred Christian holiday.
Who’s to blame for this holiday hoopla? John Gibson, among
others, is a prime culprit. He is a Fox News anchor and author of
“The War on Christmas: How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred
Christian Holiday Is Worse Than You Thought.”
Now, I am excited about this. I don’t think I’ve
ever been involved in a plot before. I hope this is a good one,
being my first conspiracy and all.
According to an Amazon.com review, Gibson’s book outlines
examples of the liberal secularist plot to destroy Jesus through
the systematic demolition of Christmas. He gives examples such as
government workers in Illinois, who were forbidden to say the
phrase “Merry Christmas” while at work, and a New
Jersey school that banned all traditional Christmas carols.
Now, I don’t agree with these strange examples at all, and
I doubt that many people do. Obviously these examples are extreme,
and let’s face it, no one likes an extremist. This really
sounds more like a by-any-means-necessary type attack on liberals
more than something Christians are actually upset over.
I think the real question is, does the phrase “Happy
Holidays” really threaten you and your beliefs? Does it
really take away from your ability to celebrate of the birth of
Jesus Christ any more than the massive consumer-targeted retail
frenzy Christmas has become?
Let’s just simplify things a bit and say “Happy
Holidays” to account for all holidays and not leave anyone
out, but at the same time not privilege anyone either.
Without the catch-all “Happy Holidays” slogan,
businesses would have to make faith-specific sales pitches to hock
their goods. For the Jews, it’s “Happy Hanukkah;”
for many African-Americans, it’s “Happy Kwanzaa.”
And don’t forget the Slovenians, with their cheerful
“Happy Slovenian Independence Day.”
Or maybe you’re celebrating one of the pagan midwinter
festivals from which many believe Christmas may have originated,
such as the Germanic “Yule” or the Roman
“Festival of Saturnalia” or “Festival of the
Birth of Unconquered Sun.” If not “Happy
Holidays,” what would you have me say to all my Roman friends
this time of year?
“Happy Season of the Festivals of Saturnalia and of the
Birth of Unconquered Sun!”
That’s quite a mouthful.
Hey, I have an idea: Lets shorten it to “Happy
Holidays.” All-encompassing, fair and easy.
This whole thing is ridiculous. We go from the war on terror to
the war on Christmas just because we need something to argue
about.
Wishing someone a happy holiday, as in a happy
whatever-holiday-you-happen-to-celebrate, is really just a
respectful thing to do. If you honestly believe that someone saying
“Happy Holidays” is a threat to your religion, you need
to pass that joint to the left, my friend ““ how paranoid have
you become?
Religious or not, most people celebrate something this time of
year, and if everyone celebrates something different, why not just
wish everyone happy holidays in general? If you are Christian and
you feel that you have to be told specifically to have a merry
Christmas, you need to get over yourself.
Jennifer Giroux is the co-founder of an organization that
manufactures rubber wristbands that read, “Just Say
“˜Merry Christmas.”’ In the true spirit of Christ,
she has cashed in on this war on Christmas and reportedly sold over
15,000 of them for $2 each. In a BBC article, Giroux was quoted as
saying, “We just wanted to encourage Christians to have the
courage to say “Merry Christmas” instead of
“Happy Holidays.” Courage? As if Christians are a
downtrodden minority at 80 percent of the American population.
I’m an atheist half-Jew and I still get my presents on
Christmas morning, so this whole “war” doesn’t
really affect me. Go ahead and wear your wristband and write your
books; until Santa gets involved, I’ve got other things to
worry about.
What’s your stance on the war on Christmas? Let
Deitchman know at jdeitchman@media.ucla.edu.