“I wanted to ask if you could tell me where my
clitoris is. I think I know where it is, but it doesn’t feel
good when it gets touched. Is that normal? Also, how do I know if
I’ve had an orgasm?”
This question never ceases to astound me; I feel like I’ve
known where my clitoris was from the day I was born. However,
I’ve met active feminists who only took a good look at their
clitorises in their 20s, so I must be the exception. My goal in
life is to make it a requirement for all high school biology
classes to spend one entire lecture period on how to locate and
stimulate a clitoris and another on the seven wonders of the
vagina. Better yet, it should be in lab. Then I’d only have
to worry about those poor souls stuck in schools offering only
intelligent design. Unfortunately, I’ve been asked this
question once too often to ignore it. I feel like I can’t say
this enough: Go to your local drug store (it’s not that
difficult to walk into Westwood, and a brisk walk can reduce the
risk of breast cancer) and buy a hand mirror. No, your vagina
isn’t ugly, fishlike or bruised, and it most certainly
doesn’t have teeth, but it does enjoy attention, and trust
me, once you get a proper look at it you’ll be fascinated.
You might even want to give it an endearing name. Vincent comes to
mind (I like the V-ness of Vincent). Lay on your back, spread your
legs and hold the mirror so that you can see the wonders of your
female-hood. The clitoris is that little piece of skin you see
sticking out between the two “lips” of the two labia.
Just to be technical, the entirety of your genitals is not called
the vagina ““ if you spread the “lips” you should
see two holes, the vagina is the lower of the two. The top one is
the urethra. The actual vagina is a tube that’s about four
inches long and connects the vulva (your external genital organs,
so what you probably think of as your vagina) and the cervix of the
uterus. The clitoris is the flap of skin above these two holes. As
to how it feels when it gets touched ““ the clitoris is the
home of one heck of a lot of nerve endings. Rumors have circulated
claiming that the clitoris has more nerve endings than the penis,
but this isn’t actually true. It has about the same number of
nerve endings (now we’re really talking equality). This makes
sense, since the same piece of genital flesh that forms that penis
in males, becomes the clitoris in females. What is true, is that
the sole function of the clitoris is to provide pleasure, while the
penis also functions in urination. This might be a good or a bad
thing, depending on your sexual fantasies. However, seeing that
it’s not too big (much smaller than the penis), it is a
pretty darn sensitive piece of equipment, especially the tip. Many
women don’t enjoy having the tip touched directly, but prefer
being stimulated on the sides or around the clitoris. Try wetting
your fingers and experimenting. It’s better if you know how
to make yourself happy before you try explaining it to someone
else. If you’re not used to the idea of masturbation, try
thinking of your vagina as a really expensive car. Would you let
your friends borrow it without first driving it to its max
yourself? I didn’t think so. Once your friends do get to
drive you’d probably sit right next to them making sure they
don’t crash. And your vagina is many times more precious than
any car. And lastly, the orgasm. If you have to ask, I’d bet
a large sum of money that you’ve never had one. Once you do,
you’ll know. People have probably told you that before, but
trust me. In a female, an orgasm is the contraction of the muscles
in the uterus, vagina and pelvis. You’re going to feel it
because you involuntarily spasm. Don’t worry, it may not
sound like fun, but it is. One of the best parts about being female
is not only having the potential to have multiple orgasms
(basically being able to come again without having to rest first),
but also being able to have sustained orgasms. The longest orgasm
ever recorded for a woman was 43 seconds long. It doesn’t
seem that long on paper, but think about it. That’s about
three-quarters of a minute of pure ecstasy. Just compare that to
the usual three- to five-second male orgasm. As for multiple
orgasms, the Center for Marital and Sexual Studies reported one
woman as having 134 orgasms in the span of an hour. The thought of
it exhausts me almost as much as the thought of Dance Marathon. The
most male orgasms reported is 16 in an hour. Even that sounds like
a tiresome endeavor. But if you’re up for it, give it a shot.
Experimenting by yourself is a great pastime and will give you a
better idea of the range of stimulation that you enjoy. Otherwise,
you could go to the gym. Personally, I’m staying in bed.
Lara enjoys competition. How many times can you come in an
hour? E-mail her at lloewenstein@media.ucla.edu.