Somewhere in my stone heart runs a tiny blue and gold vein that
goes by the name of Blue Flow. It is this vein, and this vein
alone, that wants and thinks that UCLA will win Saturday against
USC.
The rest of me believes the Trojans will pummel the Bruins into
submission come Saturday, and the devilish part of me will enjoy
watching it.Â
All I keep hearing is how this year’s Bruin team is
different from the one that collapsed in 2001. The 2001 team
wasn’t supposed to lose to Stanford, and this year’s
squad wasn’t supposed to lose to Stanford. Yet both teams
lost to Stanford and quickly lost any chance of playing in a
prestigious bowl game. Where’s the difference?
Call me a fair-weather fan, but I have given up any hope that
this mediocre season can be salvaged, and consequently I
don’t care what happens this weekend.
I know I’m supposed to be a supportive student and all,
but the writing on the wall is crystal clear.
If it wasn’t UCLA’s overall performance this past
Saturday that convinced me the season’s over, then it was the
boisterous boos serenading from the Rose Bowl that could be heard
all the way back to Westwood.
Already trailing by 18 points in the first quarter, on third
down and eight in the Oregon red zone, the brain trust that is the
UCLA coaching staff called a running play.
A run?! That was the last straw, and is also a perfect segue for
Blue Flow’s favorite joke.
How many UCLA assistant offensive coaches does it take to screw
in a light bulb? Ten.
Three to screw it up the first time. Three to screw it up
the second time. Three to screw it up the third time. And
one to finally punt the bulb into the socket.
If you remember a month ago, I was the one that was caught
red-handed rooting for USC. It’s definitely a crime that has
its perks. Mainly I get to watch an offense that works.
I lamented the Trojans’ loss to Cal because I thought
their chance to win a national title had gone up in smoke.
Well looky here.
As fate would have it, all the Trojans have to do is beat UCLA
to get their chance at national title (barring any BS from the
BCS).
Although Blue Flow is still holding out hope for a Bruin
victory, this incredibly tiny yet important vein is dangerously
close to exploding.
Blue Flow has reached its limit of listening to false promises
from coach Karl Dorrell and company this season.
UCLA fans were promised a more wide-open and fun offense upon
the return of Matt Moore.
UCLA fans were told there wouldn’t be a quarterback
controversy engulfing the program.
This week, Bruin coaches and players will tell you they have a
chance to upset the highly favored Trojans.
The fans have been misled all season. Why should we believe them
now?
But in a testament that not all grudges are eternal, here is why
Blue Flow wants UCLA to win.
A win at the Coliseum would validate an otherwise boring and
uneventful season for Bruin fans (but that’s not going to
happen).
A win would mean not having to see another senior class go
winless against their cross-town rivals (but that’s not going
to happen).
For whichever quarterback starts, a win would hopefully silence
any quarterback controversy for the upcoming year (but that’s
not going to happen).
And here is why the rest of me thinks USC will win.
Well, duh.
But this is no time for USC to be cocky. Blue Flow would like
the Trojans to heed this warning: Never turn your back on a wounded
bear, because when you’re not looking, it’ll bite
you.
I would like to remind Blue Flow and everyone else that hopes
are one thing, and expectations are quite another. Then again,
this isn’t exactly a desperate bear. It’s more like a
paraplegic chipmunk.
Punt Seth your e-mail at sglass@media.ucla.edu.