An epidemic of grave proportions

An epidemic is spreading through the world. Great minds are
working frantically to find a cure, but the problem only seems to
be growing worse, and the outlook is grim.

No, for once, I am not referring to conservatism or even the
avian flu. I’m talking about obesity.

ABC News recently reported that rates for childhood obesity
“will soar dramatically” worldwide by 2010, even in
some lower-income nations.

The Web site for The National Institutes of Health reports that
less than half of adults in the U.S. are at a healthy weight.

One-third of those at an unhealthy weight are classified not
just as overweight, but obese.

They also noted that “obese individuals have a 50 to 100
percent increased risk of death from all causes, compared with
normal-weight individuals.”

Statistical interpretation: The world is eating itself to
death.

Which, historically speaking, is perfectly normal.

As “History of Social Thought” instructor Gabriel
Wolfenstein observed, “Looking … at the last century, we
seem to get an influenza pandemic two or three times in a century.
Many doctors and scientists believe, therefore, that it is only a
matter of time until the next influenza pandemic occurs.”

This time, however, the pandemics have outsmarted us. They knew
we were expecting influenza.

Avian flu is the decoy ““ obesity is the real threat.

To combat this, U.S. officials are toying with plans to tax
sugary, fatty foods or place stern warning labels on them.

Like most government ideas, their strategy to make unhealthy
foods unappealing to potential buyers is interesting, and would be
mostly ineffective.

Warning labels will only serve to clutter those pretty Hostess
packages. People are already aware that junk food is bad for them.
We are inundated with news reports and articles that tell us so
every day.

Raising taxes, and therefore the cost, of munchies will also
have little impact. The vending machines on campus prove that money
is no object when it comes to Twinkies.

Can anything be done, then, to stop this plague upon humanity
before it wipes us out?

The answer is yes. We just need to employ a little common sense,
and find the real reasons behind the obesity epidemic.

One solution is to simply stop talking about it so much.

Every popular magazine I see when I check out at the grocery
store has at least one article announcing just how fast
you’ll lose weight after trying the reduced-carb, South
Beach, water-intake-only diet.

Every news special warns of the dangers of being out of shape
and overweight.

Our culture is obsessed with our ““ and everyone
else’s ““ bodies. The existence of this obsession in a
culture that just happens to be one of the most obese in the world
is no coincidence.

No wonder we’re overweight ““ we’re constantly
hungry from thinking about food all the time.

Those glossy magazine covers only serve to remind us that
we’re not as skinny as the cover model, and more importantly,
good reading material is depressingly hard to find.

Thoughts like these make me sad, and lead me to comfort myself
with chocolate, furthering the obesity epidemic.

A more local fix is to add more fresh fruit to college dining
halls.

Yes, there are plenty of bananas and apples, but what about the
exotic fare ““ strawberries, melons or even pineapples?

The appearance of a variety of fresh fruits is so rare that just
a few days ago in the Covel dining hall I saw two people nearly
come to blows over who would get the last strawberry in a fruit
bowl.

College students don’t really want to eat greasy pizza
““ it’s just the only available sustenance that we
don’t have to go to war over.

Fighting ““ and living off pizza ““ makes us sad,
which leads us to comfort ourselves with chocolate, furthering the
obesity epidemic.

With a united front and effective resolution to this problem, we
can defy the patterns of history and continue overpopulating the
world and draining it of its resources. Boycott magazines, petition
the dining halls, strip down and join the crusade.

E-mail Strickland at kstrickland@media.ucla.edu. Send
general comments to viewpoint@media.ucla.edu.

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