The other day, I was watching TV and my phone rang, stopping my
channel surfing. After hanging up, I realized I had left the
country music channel on in the background. My initial impulse was
to change it ASAP.
You would expect me to, right? I guarantee almost everyone
reading this column claims to hate country, and when asked what
music they like, has responded with, “Anything but
country.” Further, I wouldn’t be shocked if those who
do like country feel they need to justify it by saying
they’re from the Midwest or South.
I’m guilty of having said these things numerous times. I
stopped, though, when I read “Sex, Drugs and Cocoa
Puffs” by Chuck Klosterman. In the book, he includes an essay
in which he describes why country is the most popular genre in the
United States and why people profess to hate it.
Klosterman argues that country is popular because its lyrics are
literal and speak to scores of people due to this simplicity.
There’s a reason Tim McGraw has sold more records than
Radiohead ever will: “I had a barbecue stain on my white
T-shirt” speaks to the average person more than
“Ambition makes you look pretty ugly / Kicking, squealing
Gucci little piggy.”
I agree with Klosterman, simply because when people say why they
hate country, it’s often because they hate country
singers’ voices or they feel the lyrics are terrible.
Of course, what this says is that people hate this music because
anyone can understand it. In order to be cool, one has to be an
elitist with his or her musical tastes by A) prominently listing
extremely obscure bands as favorites, or B) hating the lowest
common denominator.
If people are going to sit around and call themselves music
connoisseurs, but then attack country (or any genre) because
it’s socially acceptable to do so, then those people really
need to be smacked upside the head.
By the way, it never ceases to amuse me that liking old-school
country such as Johnny Cash, Hank Williams and Willie Nelson is
considered hip these days, while at the same time it’s still
cool to say you despise country, which makes absolutely no sense.
The music and themes have barely changed at all.
A friend of mine once told me about a girl he was dating and how
amazing she was. For God’s sake, the girl even liked
“Star Wars.” So you can imagine my shock when he said
he didn’t think he could see her anymore. I asked him why,
and he replied , “Well, she likes country music.”
Now, how is this grounds to break up with someone? Would he have
had this same reaction if she listened exclusively to, say, gangsta
rap? Emo? Hell, show tunes? I’m guessing not. To this day,
country is the only music genre I’ve ever heard cited as a
reason to end a relationship.
My eighth-grade science teacher (who was a known BSer) tried to
tell us that country music had been scientifically proven to
“drive people insane” if they were locked in a room
where it was playing.
What this fails to take into account is that people will be
driven insane by anything if they are locked in a small room. I
don’t care if “Blonde on Blonde” is playing; the
fact that you’re locked in a room is what will make you
crazy, not the music.
Klosterman goes on to say hipsters hate country because
“they hate Midwesterners, and they hate Southerners, and they
hate people with real jobs.” Ouch.
This is why people always rag on country and NASCAR ““ as
much as blue staters hate to admit it, these two things are the
real America. Tens of millions more people in this country listen
to Toby Keith or Alan Jackson than to Arcade Fire. Is this right
from a quality standpoint? I don’t think so.
But there has to be a reason so many people love country. And if
you write off the Midwest and South’s tastes because of
stereotypes, you’re just as ignorant as someone who justifies
avoiding hip-hop by pointing at the color of a musician’s
skin (which, incidentally, is something I also did when I was
younger).
Of course, don’t take this to mean I suddenly love
country, but I’ll wholeheartedly admit to bashing it in the
past. No, I won’t replace all my music with Tim McGraw and
Trisha Yearwood. But I will respect the fact that there is a
tangible reason so many people like country, and it doesn’t
involve them being uncultured or ignorant.
It’s misguided to dismiss a genre the masses can relate to
because you want to be considered intellectually superior. The
inherent paradox is that by trying so hard to look like an
intellectual elite, you end up looking as closed-minded as the
people who listen to country music supposedly are.
If you think Humphrey’s roommate should be allowed to
listen to country in the apartment without fear of persecution,
e-mail him at mhumphrey@media.ucla.edu.