Jokes about replacing birth control pills with Tic Tacs are jokes about rape.
Pete Davidson’s comedy on this weekend’s episode of Saturday Night Live came off as anything but a lighthearted comment about his romantic relationship with Ariana Grande. As the latest jab in a long line of offensive comments surrounding his fiancee, Davidson’s joke about switching her pills with candy is problematic and further solidifies the public’s belief in his lack of filter and his consistent trivialization of terrorism and sexual harassment.
The controversy surrounding Pete Davidson’s consistently insensitive humor was brought to light by fans in July. But the first instance of his Grande-centric jokes took place in fall 2017, when he tastelessly poked fun at the Manchester bombing. Davidson claimed Britney Spears was never big enough a star to experience a terrorist attack at her concert, but that Grande is.
Grande, who had recently begun dating Davidson at the time, wrote the comment off as “unfortunate” despite defending it as harmless. The single joke outraged many on Twitter, but the overall backlash died down – temporarily.
While talking to Howard Stern on his satellite radio show SiriusXM, Davidson said he used to masturbate to his significant other before they had even met. Though his words weren’t necessarily malicious in nature, they served to objectify Grande because he promoted a view of her a sex symbol rather than a person. Numerous comments prove Davidson is completely comfortable sexualizing his fiancee for the media: He said he was proud of her for being so attractive that former President Bill Clinton seemingly admired her body at singer Aretha Franklin’s funeral. Davidson proceeded to say he comforted Grande in the face of the allegations by telling her she could catch looks even at the most serious of events – a statement that was blind to both the tragic death as well as the issue of valuing women only for their appearance.
But it didn’t stop there. Davidson went so far as to say he sometimes imagines his father’s unfortunate death as a firefighter – the image of him burning alive during 9/11 – to lengthen the duration of sex. The comment comes as a shock: Davidson himself has said he struggled with mental health since his father’s death, and Grande has had post-traumatic stress disorder since the terrorist attack at her concert in 2017. Davidson was clearly insensitive to the struggles of many, including his fiancee, in the face of terrorism. Of course, Grande was sexualized yet again, and Davidson displayed a sheer lack of concern toward mental health.
The grand culmination of Davidson’s spree of insensitive jokes took place on SNL’s season premiere this weekend, in which he made multiple comments on his fiancee. His quip about replacing birth control with mints wasn’t some whimsical joke about potentially playing a prank – Davidson said he swapped the pills the night before the show to ensure Grande could never leave him. If it actually took place, the scenario would be similar to lying about using a condom, making it a joke about rape because Grande would not have been consenting to the same sexual scenario as Davidson. While he may have intended to sound purely comedic, the joke’s subject matters of rape, sexual deception and coercion make it fully unacceptable.
Among the more innocent SNL jokes was a mention of Grande paying for their house, while Davidson himself is tasked with filling the fridge – an overt suggestion of how he benefits materialistically off her wealth. The joke, when paired with the birth control comment, further enforces the idea that Grande and other women exist to serve men’s needs and desires.
It is worthy to note that Davidson is diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. The condition is known to cause angry outbursts, depression and other issues related to mood and self-image. But the jokes he makes about his fiancee far too often include levels of insensitivity that delve into problematic realms, such as objectification, and cannot be excused.
Unfortunately for Grande, who has noticeably been absent from the media after ex-boyfriend Mac Miller’s death, Davidson’s remarks ensure she remains in the spotlight, not for her own achievements but rather as the target of his blatant objectification and insensitivity.
Davidson’s comments cross a line, especially since they were made during a difficult time for Grande. His jokes are out of touch and ignore important social phenomena such as the #MeToo movement and at-home terrorism. Moreover, they show complete disregard for Grande’s public image, and more importantly, her emotional state and desire to live a more private life.
While jokes are intended to be humorous and make light of situations, there are times when they can do more damage than healing. Davidson’s latest comments are examples of the downfalls that can take place, and comedians would do well to learn from his errors. Terrorism is not a joke. Rape is not a joke. Objectification is not a joke.