Despite representing more than 10 percent of the student population at UCLA, international students say they can face difficulties dating on campus, emphasizing problems from language barriers to cultural differences. In order to help Chinese international students build relationships, the Chinese Students and Scholars Association held a dating show on Sunday night called “If You Are the One.” Adopting the format of a game show, “If You Are the One” provides a platform for the female and male contestants to find matches.
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TRANSCRIPT:
TENG: Last Sunday night, a dozen female contestants stood in front of a full house in Haines A39: All of them were there for a dating show called “If You Are the One.” The Chinese Students and Scholars Association has now held this dating show eight times, and it has remained popular among Chinese international students.
CAI: “If You Are the One” is actually a very famous and popular TV show in China.
TENG: This is Boyang Cai, a fourth-year electrical engineering student and this year’s show organizer. Modeled after a TV show, “Fei Cheng Wu Rao” or loosely translated as “If You Are the One,” this event hosted 12 female students and 5 male students. By interviewing the contestants alongside videos designed to display their personalities, the show helps familiarize them with each other’s interests. If the female and male contestants are compatible, they can choose to go on a date.
CAI: Every year, there are a lot of new people coming from China. Because they are new students, they don’t have time. Their circles are too small, so this show gives them a stadium to show themselves. It is good communication for the both sides, for the guys and the girls.
TENG: Thomas Bradbury, a UCLA professor of psychology, teaches the Intimate Relationships course and agrees that the show can benefit Chinese international students.
BRADBURY: When there are opportunities for people to meet each other, that becomes a good idea. It’s really a way for two individuals to get to know themselves.
TENG: Charlize Yi is a third-year sociology student. As a female contestant on the show, she had her own expectations.
YI: Well, if I can find a boyfriend, that would be great, but if not, I’d like to meet more people, and get to know more people.
TENG: For Yi, dating is particularly difficult when most people on campus don’t share her cultural background.
YI: No matter what, I still feel like different culture and different background are kind of hard in the relationship. If you speak the same language, or you come from the same background, it’s more easy for you guys to communicate.
BRADBURY: There is a scientific literature that suggests that people in western cultures, who grow up in a place like North America, or the United States, are oriented more towards themselves as individuals; whereas people from eastern cultures are more likely to be oriented, for example, towards other people, and especially towards their families, their extended families.
TENG: According to Professor Bradbury, conflicts such as misaligned expectations in a relationship can stem from these cultural differences. However, Bradbury believes that such discrepancies between individuals can be reconciled with time and patience.
BRADBURY: It’s an unusual place to be a student in a safe, wonderful, welcoming atmosphere like UCLA, and so we are not in a hurry to have relationships. We can pause and reflect and allow ourselves the time it takes to adjust to a new culture, to adjust to invisible rules that people seems to be following in relationships that aren’t written down anywhere.
TENG: To support this endeavor, the Chinese Students and Scholars Association has been open to having their dating show “Fei Cheng Wu Rao” become more inclusive.
CAI: Maybe a few years later, we can make it to be all around UCLA, so it can accept Chinese people and American people, all of them. They can come together.
TENG: Until then, “If You Are The One” will be the premier matchmaking event for international Chinese students. CSSA plans to organize its next “If You Are The One” show in the Spring quarter.
For Daily Bruin Radio, I’m Yue Teng.