Natalie Kirsten remembers wanting to be straight for most of her teenage years.
Growing up in a conservative Colorado town, Kirsten often thought her sexuality had to comply with the strict Christian ideals her community promoted, which included heterosexuality.
But when she left home for UCLA, she started to feel different.She said she was able to embrace her sexuality for the first time because she felt accepted by other students.With this change, she came to the realization that her religion and sexual orientation were not as conflicting as she thought.
“These two parts of me, they work together,”said Kirsten, a first-year undeclared student who identifies as lesbian and Christian.”My Christian identity just means that I love everybody … and my lesbian identity just means that I am attracted to women and I understand things a little differently.”
Kirsten now attends the Founders Metropolitan Community Church in Los Feliz, which focuses on inclusivity of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and intersex community and also caters to a predominantly LGBT congregation.
Houses of worship that are geared toward the LGBT population are growing in number across the nation and signify increasing connections between the religious and LGBT communities.
There are currently more than 6,700 LGBT-affirming churches in the U.S., according to a church directory compiled by God’s Agape Love (Put) Into Practice, a nonprofit organization.
“During the last 50 years, we see some people being very harsh and bitter,” saidFather Chris Ponnet, spiritual director for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles Office of Catholic Ministry with Lesbian and Gay Persons. “Now we are in a period of time where, in the last eight or 10 years, civil society is beginning to look at what a committed relationship means in the gay and lesbian experience.”
Ponnet said that while the Catholic Church does not bless LGBT relationships, he thinks the church’s outlook on LGBT inclusion is changing.
Reverend Doctor Neil Thomas,senior pastor at the Metropolitan Community Church, said he thinks that stereotypes about religious and LGBT communities being in conflict have roots in American culture.
“I think that the dominant culture, especially in this country, is one that says, ‘Thou shalt not. You shalt not be a homosexual and a Christian,'” Thomas said. “Many LGBT people grow up with that rhetoric, both from the church and from culture.”
Reverend Michael Schuenemeyer, the United Church of Christ’s executive for health and wholeness advocacy, said he thinks this stereotype is held by some members of the Christian community who have more conservative views. According to God’s Agape Love (Put) Into Practice, the United Church of Christ has the most LGBT-affirming churches in the U.S.
He said many of the LGBT people he has worked with have felt alienated by some church leaders who take a “very rejective and abusive approach” to LGBT inclusion in the church.
“But the church is not God. The church is God’s agent. It is a human institution, and it does not always get it right,” Schuenemeyer said.
Some LGBT UCLA students said they have felt rejected by members of the church in campus organizations.
Steven Mion, a first-year political science student who identifies as gay and Methodist, said the first time he felt uncomfortable being with fellow Christians because of his sexuality was when he arrived at UCLA.
Mion signed up for a Christian fellowship in the beginning of the school year without disclosing his sexuality. He said he remembers telling some members about his desire to incorporate more LGBT people in the church.
The responses of the students in the fellowship left him surprised and confused, he said.
“That was the first time – I’ll never forget it – I ever heard the language of ‘love the sinner, hate the sin,'”Mion said. “At that point, they didn’t know they were addressing me as an LGBT person … and I had no idea how to respond.”
Despite this instance, Mion continued to attend the group’s meetings, hoping to change the fellowship’s perspective on being both Christian and gay
After a few more gatherings, he said he decided to be honest with the fellowship, so he told the lead pastor about his sexuality.
Mion said the pastor responded by telling him that he was “broken.”
“It caught me off guard and it really scared me,” Mion said. “When you say (being gay is) a sin, I can outright disagree with you and we can contest Bible verses. When you say it’s “broken” … that means you are going to try and fix me, and that’s scary.”
Mion said he never returned to the fellowship and instead found other groups on campus that were geared specifically toward the LGBT community.
These groups include Cornerstone, a group for LGBT Christians sponsored by the University Catholic Center, and another similar small group sponsored by the InterVarsity Bruin Christian Fellowship.
Cornerstone has reached out to some of the other Christian groups on campus to converse with them, but none have accepted the offer so far, said Leiza Castillo, one of the co-leaders of Cornerstone and a third-year English student who identifies as lesbian and Catholic.
The Daily Bruin contacted about 25 of the Christian groups on campus to ask about their stances on LGBT inclusion in the church. All but the Christian Social Work Caucus either declined to comment or could not be reached.
Jennie Rivas, a co-chair of the Christian Social Work Caucus and a graduate student in social work, said the club has no official stance on LGBT inclusion in the church and that it is welcoming to everyone, including members of the LGBT community.
Students from several different religions said they also struggle to reconcile their faith with their sexuality.