Everyone willing to go to the theater to see “Escape Plan,”the newest vehicle for glamorizing Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger as they spin into their late 60s, is going to receive exactly what they expect. The once idolized action stars who brought flocks of moviegoers to see them take on an army of terrorists in the jungle now have to rely on “The Expendables”-esque collaborative pieces to attract audiences.
Two films from earlier this year, “The Last Stand,” starring Schwarzenegger, and “Bullet to the Head,” starring Stallone, proved that neither can meet their already low viewership expectations on their own. But with “Escape Plan,” in which the characters attempt to break out of a supposedly unbreakable prison, Schwarzenegger and Stallone find themselves within the same persona, just within two physically different bodies of muscle, hoping for the formula to work.
Stallone plays Ray Breslin, a man who specializes in prison security, making it his occupation to attempt to break out of high-security prisons to test their weaknesses. After a few opening scenes where he performs what he does best to a dumbstruck warden, a CIA agent arrives at Breslin’s office to offer him his biggest task yet: breaking out of a secret, off-the-record jail for the most dangerous criminals in the system.
Reluctantly, he takes the job, only to find himself abducted and taken to the secret location, a jail where the cells are small glass squares fit in a lightless, factory-like tomb. It is here that he discovers that he’s been set up by someone who wants to keep him locked away for good, and the only one willing to help him is an overly intrigued fellow prisoner, Emil Rottmayer (Schwarzenegger).
Not that there need to be any, but some supporting characters are thrown into the mix as well for an attempt at variety. Jim Caviezel plays an intimidating warden, sadistically entertained by the control he has over his entrapment and interrogation systems. Otherwise, the remainder of the cast, including the likes of Sam Neill and 50 Cent, are criminally underused, receiving little to no opportunity for crowd-pleasing moments.
Neither Stallone nor Schwarzenegger do a particularly bad job with what they are given, as large men who use their knack for intelligence rather than for punching, a slightly inspired but odd choice for the roles. What the characters result in, however, is part of the problem: unimaginatively bland figures with their trademark set of cliched lines and unrealistic perseverance.
The other part of the problem lies in the outrageous and unbalanced storytelling, giving its all to make the two stars appear triumphant in the most bleak of times. Stallone provides his best impersonation of Sherlock Holmes, in spirit rather than in body, seeking the tiniest clues as to what his next inevitable step to freedom must be. Pieced together with slow interjections of a nonsensical criminal mastermind subplot, the fable falls apart at the seams.
Plot-wise, “Escape Plan” is surprisingly original, pretending that two captives with the physique of bodybuilders can outsmart their way of out a frequently plot-twisted setting. It has the potential of many great jailbreak films, but follows nearly all of its guidelines in the wrong direction, resulting in a very sloppily produced attempt at sophistication.
Had “Escape Plan” served more as an action piece, tracing the steps of its predecessors from the days of young Stallone and Schwarzenegger, it likely would have found better footing. But director Mikael Håfström even attempts, beyond all reason, to throw political subtext into his testing of the limits of common sense. It’s a disappointing mess, one that even an abundantly pervasive nostalgia factor can’t save.