As Patty Schemel, former drummer of the band Hole, sat filming herself in silent inebriation, a fellow bandmate asked her if she was intentionally documenting her own misery.
Almost two decades later, the distinguished drummer of the ’90s rock band Hole finds her voice and puts former misery to good use in “Hit So Hard,” a documentary based off intimate footage captured by Schemel on a Hi-8 (8mm video) camera during Hole’s “Live Through This” world tour.
The footage is tastefully interlaced with contemporary interviews given by the former band members, bringing to light all the dark secrets about the band that were kept from the media. While lead singer Courtney Love has most often stolen the spotlight with her quirky antics, Schemel’s life story as Hole’s drummer provides a refreshing and distinct perspective on what goes on backstage.
Schemel was called a “tribal punk drummer” by Love and used to play all of her shows intoxicated and without shoes. In her interview, Schemel’s personality is sweet, sober and relaxed, but in previous performances, she transforms into a violent storm who would enthrall audiences with her heavy rhythms.
The documentary effectively captures the transition she has made from reckless ’90s rock star to homeless drug-addict to owner of a dog day-care business.
In the never-before-seen footage, Hole embodies two polarizing identities: a wild band of international rock stars and as a group of close friends living modest lives. In one scene, Love takes a stage dive while the other members destroy every piece of equipment on stage. In other clips, Schemel plays with baby Frances Bean Cobain and conjures up a silly dance to make the other band members laugh.
Heavier topics emerge in Schemel’s personal interviews, in which she finally opens up about her struggles with her sexuality and drug abuse. She talks about her traumatic coming-out experience and how she was frequently used as the test subject for straight girls experimenting with lesbianism.
Schemel serves as a role model for anyone who feels singled out, especially because she was able to pull herself out of the drug-induced hole she fell in. She describes how it took an encounter with a physical drum-set while living on the street for her to realize that she had forgotten about her life as an international rock-star due to her extensive drug use.
A clear theme of the documentary is how moving forward in business involves the sacrifice of art. The other band members did not defend Schemel when producers replaced her on the studio album for “Celebrity Skin,” an album for which she wrote her own parts. Contrary to popular belief, it wasn’t drug addiction that drove her to leave the band but feelings of betrayal.
Although the grunge era was characterized by an angry desire to rebel against social standards, most interviewees looked back on the era with a sense of humor, laughing at how grunge fashion came from the lesbians of the 1970s and how Courtney Love takes pride in the fact that nobody aspires to be like her.
The end of the documentary was somewhat anticlimactic, yet intriguing in that a member of a multi-platinum-selling rock band could evolve into someone who takes care of dogs for a living. Moreover, the documentary seemed resolved, in that Schemel is happily married and is revealed to be several years sober.
Ultimately, “Hit So Hard” has a universal appeal. Although music enthusiasts who lived through the ’90s and listened to bands like Nirvana and Hole can relive the nostalgia, Schemel’s uplifting story provides an inspiration to anyone who has ever felt like an anomaly.
Email Schmitto at cschmitto@media.ucla.edu.