Every once in a while a particular event will make you question everything, force you to decide once and for all whether you’re on one side of the fence or the other.
One such landmark moment occurred this past weekend, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be the same again.
The McRib is back.
Yes, it’s true. McDonald’s masterpiece ““ boneless pork, barbecue sauce, onions and pickles ““ has been reborn. The McRib is legendary and elusive, the Mewtwo of fast food. Given its return, I’m still trying to process (great word to use for a fast-food sandwich) its significance.
Problem is, the McRib won’t stand the tests of time. Its availability is limited, its glory brief. McDonald’s has announced that by Nov. 14, the sandwich will be gone.
UCLA, take note.
What the McRib really is, is a tease. We sing its praises, treat it with adoration, and its limited availability allows the myth of its greatness to persist.
Eventually, though, it’s time to face facts: For whatever reason, the McRib doesn’t have staying power. If it did, McDonald’s wouldn’t pull the plug after a month.
That brings me to McRick Neuheisel, fourth-year head coach. We’ve all been regaled with stories of McRick’s past success ““ he did pretty well for himself in previous coaching stints at Colorado and Washington. His tenure at UCLA has been filled with teasing ““ a win over Tennessee here, a win at Texas there.
There’s no denying the short-time thrills that a win over an elite program can bring to a program. But in the long run, certain tastes can sour. The Neuheisel Show has worn out its welcome in Westwood, the popularity of the McRick a thing of the past.
Just hours before McDonald’s made its big announcement of the weekend, the UCLA football team made an explicit declaration of its own.
In a 48-12 thumping at the hands of Arizona, a super-sized beat down that probably made many fans want to vomit, it became clear that the coaching staff has lost this team.
Maybe you also saw the irony in the streaker that took the field at the end of the first half.
The man was dressed in a referee’s uniform and ran out onto the field blowing his whistle, waving his arms and looking very, well, official.
He looked the part, said and did all the right things, but everyone soon saw straight through the act. Sound familiar?
Point is, we’ve been around long enough to see through the teases, and the Arizona game sufficiently hammered us over the head with that notion. The coaching was porous, the execution woeful, the sportsmanship disappointing.
And this was a game that UCLA HAD to win! It was like picking up a sandwich delicately, lifting it carefully to your mouth, only to then have the contents come spilling out all over your lap.
That’s what it’s been like watching this UCLA football team, especially in the buildup to the Arizona contest, a game that meant so much to the program going forward.
The loss means that the Bruins will likely have to pull off at least one upset to get to six wins and become bowl-eligible. Can they knock off Arizona State at the Rose Bowl? Win in Salt Lake City, or against USC at the Coliseum?
Not if they don’t do something drastic. McRick has teased us for too long, but things are pretty clear now.
I want new life in the program, I want higher accountability, I want more discipline, I want better preparation, I want sounder fundamentals, I want unwavering effort, and yes I would like fries with that.
If you think his columns provide McNuggets of information, email Eshoff at reshoff@media.ucla.edu.