Caught in a bad movie romance

It occurred to me the other day that I will always pay to see a bad movie. You think I would learn my lesson, but time and time again I find myself sitting in a movie theater wondering why I paid $10 or more to see a movie that should have never made it to production. All of this usually happens in the first 10 minutes ““ that’s when you know a movie is bad. But I think that there is a certain appreciation for terrible movies that keeps propelling me to the theaters, regardless of all common sense.

The other week I found myself with a free Friday, so I went to see “The Mechanic.” Even though IMDB currently gives this movie 6.9 stars out of 10, I say this film deserves some recognition for the terrible movie it is. When I initially saw the trailer for Jason Statham’s new film, I was excited to see an almost “Burn Notice”-like espionage action thriller. I am too gullible for my own good, though “”mdash; the trailer lied.

Statham’s character Arthur Bishop is probably the best part of the film; it is as if Statham can pull the film up from the depths of terrible cinema by his pure muscular strength. Accompanying Statham is Ben Foster who plays Steve McKenna, the son of Statham’s boss.

In the movie, Arthur kills Steve’s father Harry McKenna (played by Donald Sutherland), and later attempts to show guilt by taking on Steve as his assassin sidekick. Arthur begins Steve’s training by getting him a Chihuahua and posting him at the local coffeehouse to lure in a victim, which lends some lighthearted humor to an otherwise explicitly bloody film.

Once Steve is ready to join Arthur on a mission, it becomes clear that their doubled efforts can be doubly dangerous. Yet there is a lack of camaraderie between the two that one would hope to find in such a bleak, violent film. The whole movie is tied together by the need for revenge as Arthur plans against his corrupt employer and Steve exacts revenge on Arthur.

It is hard to pinpoint exactly what makes this movie worse than the average box office action hit, but somehow it missed the mark. You know “The Mechanic” was trying to sell itself too hard when the sex scenes served literally no plot device in the movie and were only made so they could be used in the trailer.

What made this film terrible was the fact that during the entire movie I couldn’t help but think something was missing: a substantial plot, better acting, dialogue, relevant action sequences, take your pick. Overall, the film did not live up to my expectations of what your average crappy action movie should be.

Before I went to see “The Mechanic,” people asked me why I would rather see it instead of a great film like “The King’s Speech.” My answer to them was that I had already seen “The King’s Speech,” but even if I hadn’t, I would have still gone to see Jason Statham’s terrible film because sometimes you need to satisfy your cravings for terrible movies.

Against all good advice, I guess I am just a sucker for a terrible movie. For those who also fashion a love of bad movies, please share your picks.

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