By most accounts ““ by my mom’s, at least ““ people cook a lot better than they used to. We have organic grocery stores these days, with entire sections dedicated to ethnic cuisines from all over the globe. We have farmers’ markets and panini grills and gourmet cookware stores. But things were not always this way ““ there was a time when kids came home to grilled cheese sandwiches made with Kraft American singles, not goat cheese. In a moment of solidarity then, we remember the days of cook-by-numbers, stereotypical, “classic” American cooking, in hopes that we never have to see these recipes again. Enjoy them with potato chips and a tall glass of whole milk (it’s all they had back in the day), so at least you’ll have something good to eat.
meatloaf
yield: serves 6
Some people have fond memories of meatloaf, and I applaud them for their strong psychological defense mechanisms. My first encounter with the food was on an airplane ““ I tried it out of curiosity, and it’s a miracle I’ve been able to be curious about anything since. To be fair, this recipe appears on paper to be a good one, and I can only assume that the texture of my meatloaf, which was somehow both spongy and dense, was my own fault. A quick word of warning: the process of making meatloaf is somewhat gross, involving almost entirely the kneading, by hand, of raw ingredients. These ingredients include, at various points, ground meat, and bread soaked in milk and raw eggs, so if you got grossed out dissecting a sheep’s brain in high school, think about hiring yourself a sous chef.
Ingredients:
1 pound ground beef
1 pound ground pork
1 pound ground veal
1 cup milk
1 cup bread cubes (3 or 4 slices Italian country bread, crusts removed)
1/2 cup finely grated pecorino Romano
2 tablespoons minced garlic
1 onion, cut into small dice
2 eggs
2 tablespoons dried oregano
1/2 cup chopped flatleaf parsley
Fine sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
Olive oil, for greasing
1 cup canned plum tomatoes, crushed
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 medium carrot, diced
1 stalk celery, diced
Process:
1. Preheat the oven to 350°F.
2. Put the beef, veal, and pork into a bowl and knead them together.
3. Pour the milk into a bowl and soak the bread in it, squeezing it into a paste. Add the soaked bread to the bowl with the meat and work them together as though you were kneading dough. Add the cheese, garlic, onion, eggs, oregano, and parsley. Season with salt and pepper and knead again until well-incorporated.
4. Oil a large roasting pan with the olive oil. Form the meat mixture into a large loaf in the center of a roasting pan.
5. Stir in the plum tomatoes, tomato paste, and 1 cup water together in a bowl and pour the mixture evenly over the meatloaf. Scatter the carrots and celery in the pan around the loaf.
6. Put the pan in the oven and bake until a skewer inserted in the center of the loaf comes out warm, about 1 1/2 hours. If the loaf begins to look dry while cooking, tent it with aluminum foil. Remove the pan from the oven and let it cool slightly.
7. Slice the meatloaf into servings, put 1 serving on each plate and spoon pan gravy and vegetables over and around the meatloaf.
green bean casserole
yield: serves 6
I have to tread carefully here, because my relatives still require a green bean casserole at every Thanksgiving, and I know we’re not the only ones. Of course, as with the meatloaf, the worst part about this recipe was my own fault. The French fried onions, it turns out, are supposed to have actual onions in them ““ those new-fangled, artificially-flavored onion rings just turn soggy in the oven. For better results, then, take the time to look for the real thing; they come in cans, apparently. For best results, though, just make something else.
Ingredients:
1 can (10 3/4 ounces) condensed cream of mushroom soup
1/2 cup milk
1 teaspoon soy sauce
Dash ground black pepper
4 cups cooked cut green beans
1 1/3 cups French fried onions
Process:
1. Stir the soup, milk, soy sauce, black pepper, beans and 2/3 cup onions in a 1 1/2 quart casserole.
2. Bake at 350°F. for 25 minutes or until the bean mixture is hot and bubbling. Stir the bean mixture. Sprinkle with the remaining onions.
3. Bake for 5 minutes or until the onions are golden brown.