Battle of the Columnists: Eshoff and Howard Border War Hits the Ice!

On Sunday, the American men’s hockey team stunned Vancouver and the rest of the world when it knocked off the heavily favored Canadians in the final game of the Olympic tournament’s first round. In the aftermath of that upset, the Daily Bruin Sports staff breaks down what the game could mean for the countries going forward.

What will the Americans’ victory over Canada mean for hockey in the United States?

Eshoff:Realistically, the biggest thing that the victory did was give the United States an easier path to the gold-medal game. If the Americans can ride the momentum of this game to a gold medal, it could be huge. That is, until NHL commissioner Gary “Scrooge” Bettman ends the agreement that lets his league’s players participate in future Olympics.

Howard:Aside from the pro-USA Facebook statuses that spammed my news feed, it means nothing. It’s not even close to the “Miracle on Ice” in 1980 because a) this was in the first round, not the medal round, and b) we’re not in an ideological war with Canada. Except for being a fan of Justin Bieber.

How soon will it be before Canada beats a U.S. team at basketball or football?

Eshoff:Sooner than you think. This hockey thing could be a Canadian conspiracy: Throw the Olympics to the Americans, inspire all the best U.S. athletes to play hockey in lieu of picking up a basketball or throwing on pads. I wouldn’t be surprised if

Canada’s got a secret basketball factory up north in the tundra.

Howard:2067. Mark it down. Canadians growing up watching the greatness of Doug Flutie, Tommy Joe Coffey and Ricky

Williams for a half season will finally understand a game that isn’t played on ice and win in overtime on a dropkick: a play in which they can legally (in the CFL) drop-kick a field goal.

Where does this upset rank in the United States’ recent sports history?

Eshoff:My scenario is that Canada will lose before reaching the gold-medal game (probably to Russia), thus forcing hell to freeze over. That turn of events will allow the gold-medal game between Russia and the U.S. to take place in the underworld, where Russia should have a distinct home-ice advantage.

HowardRussia will win the bronze medal after Alexander Ovechkin is forced to sit out for drop-kicking a Swedish player. Canada will win silver after losing, yet again, to the U.S. after the Americans get goals from everyone named Ryan. Hi, Ryan.

Who is your all-time favorite Canadian?
Eshoff:My favorite Canadian has the talent of Wayne Gretzky, the charisma of Celine Dion, the popularity of Jim Carrey, and the brilliance of Alex Trebek (all great in their own right). Ladies and gentlemen, meet Rachel McAdams. There aren’t many “mean girls” in my “notebook,” but she’s sweeter than maple syrup.

Howard:Not Canadian ““ Canadians. In 1967, a group of Canadians came together and invented the IMAX. What’s more, it allowed for “Soarin’ Over California” possible, which is the only reason to ever go to California Adventure. Finally, fellow Canadian James Cameron used the IMAX with great success.

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