Academically, athletically elite Cal, Stanford, UCLA meet in weekend basketball games

I overachieved in high school. Let’s be honest, from an academic standpoint, we all did. For reference, my GPA was much closer to the jersey number of Jerime Anderson than that of Malcolm Lee. Let your imaginations run wild.

It may come as a surprise to you to read that my acceptance to UCLA was not based on good looks (it’s Doppelgänger Week on Facebook, the Ryan Reynolds comments on my page need to stop, people) or my Bruin heritage. (One of my uncles used to launch water balloons at frat parties off the sixth floor of Dykstra ““ and the term “water” is used loosely).

Really, if you’re reading this as a UCLA student, that probably means you’re pretty sharp. As a bona fide nerd coming out of high school in the Bay Area, UCLA was at the top of my list of prospective colleges ““ as were Stanford and Cal, the two schools the Bruins face on the hardwood this weekend. (I say Cal, but I’ve had one too many visits to the town of Berkeley, where I once saw a white guy wearing a full Native American headdress walking a spoon on a leash. Sorry, Cal.)

What I’m getting at here is that it’s really a remarkable deal when UCLA plays Stanford and Cal over the course of a Pac-10 weekend, and I’m not talking about the James Keefe-Jack Trotter low-post battle. This is more than just traditional athletic rivals seeking out critical conference victories; this is a pair of head-to-head prizefights among three of the nation’s most elite universities.

No other conference in NCAA America boasts that kind of athletic and academic one-two punch.

Kentucky, in the Southeastern Conference? John Calipari can coach a motion offense, but he would recruit my Labrador retriever if she could finish in transition, regardless of her academic shortcomings.

We know that Kansas over in the Big 12 Conference has a great group of hoopsters this season, but Wilt Chamberlain is a Jayhawk alumnus, and the only tests he ever aced were of the paternity variety. Current Ivy Leaguers will probably be hiring (or more likely, firing) me someday, but their basketball squads would probably all lose to my 10-year-old Catholic Youth Organization champions.

Among the three of them, UCLA, Stanford and Cal have generated some remarkable basketball memories. We all know about the banners the Bruins have hung in Pauley Pavilion. Stanford had some remarkable, Mark Madsen-led runs in the ’90s (and were often knocked out of the nation’s top ranking by UCLA). Cal was one of the NCAA Tournament’s original powerhouses and could be in the middle of a hardwood renaissance (under the guidance of Mike Montgomery, the coach who made Stanford relevant). Whew.

You mention UCLA, Stanford and Cal to the die-hard college basketball fan, and you’ll have plenty to talk about. You mention UCLA, Stanford and Cal to the average sports-conflicted, smarts-addicted electrical engineer, and you’ll have plenty to talk about.

Landry Fields, Jeremy Green, Jerome Randle and Patrick Christopher are all rolling into town this weekend, but they aren’t the only high scorers at their respective institutions. Chances are that if you’re a student at UCLA, Stanford or Cal, you did to the SATs what the Connecticut women are doing to the rest of women’s college basketball.

Ouch, poor SATs.

For what will likely end up being another pair of tightly-contested Pac-10 basketball games, the betting lines for UCLA-Stanford and UCLA-Cal could very well be four or less. At least the GPA standards aren’t so diminutive.

If your idea of a slam dunk is an Ivy League entrance exam, e-mail Eshoff at reshoff@media.ucla.edu.

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