I’ve never written a column before. After three years at the Daily Bruin, I haven’t written a single published word.
Maybe this is why: There is honestly no way I can wrap up my experience at the Daily Bruin into one neat little cliche so everyone who reads it will think, “Wow, that’s corny,” just like any self-respecting cynical college student would on reading the sentimental garble generated by graduating seniors.
Anyway, let me tell you what I do. The editors of the writing sections of the Daily Bruin give me a list of their stories for the day.
Then I sit down and make the content fit into whatever space the Advertising Department has allocated for each section. Kind of like a jigsaw puzzle, except on the computer and with a lot more rules.
I’m the reason that the sports column on the back page cuts off right at the good part and demands that readers turn all the way to page 13 to see the last four inches of text. Sorry about that.
I am not the reason that the crossword is sometimes not back-to-back with the Sudoku; believe me, if it were my choice, this would always happen. It would prevent the embarrassing experience of an entire lecture hall staring at me as I attempt to prolong my gaming experience.
On a good day, it’s just me and the software, and I feel my stress ease a little bit as each piece fits into place.
On a bad day, stories fall through, writers need more space, photos come in four hours late, and editors don’t show up to tell me what goes on their page in the first place.
On a bad day, I trudge back to the office at midnight to redesign the same layout I finished hours before, ever an accommodating worker for ever-changing circumstances.
Most days are bad days.
This job has pushed me to the limit. I’ve had disputes with members of the staff, fought tooth and nail to secure technology any halfway decent publication should take for granted and felt my faith in the integrity of the Daily Bruin erode when we sold ourselves out for a front-page ad. That’s my personal opinion, of course.
The pride I used to feel in my job at the Daily Bruin has deteriorated as a result of the many trials of the past year.
I cannot tell you that the Daily Bruin defined my college career, that it was the highlight of my youth, that it made me want to become a journalist. Actually, as a general rule, I really, really hate journalists.
I can, however, honestly say that because of the Daily Bruin, I have learned a valuable lesson about myself that I suppose everybody learns from their first truly thankless job.
The biggest sense of accomplishment I feel at the end of this year is that after all this job has put me through, I somehow still care.
At least now, I know that I am capable of holding on to a shred of humanity. It’s what made me cry over a front-page ad weeks after it was published, even after everyone else had moved on.
It’s what made me sacrifice a great deal of my time and sanity fighting for decent software, even though I am graduating this week and I won’t even really get to use it.
I still notice and mentally critique the layouts of newspaper pages, even though my job officially ended on Tuesday.
In spite of the fact that I am no longer required to, I still find myself caring. There exists some margin of comfort in that humanity, don’t you think?
Jaffe was the 2008-2009 design director, the 2007-2008 assistant design director and was a design contributor from 2006 to 2007.