Finally! Spring quarter. So here it is: You took four classes winter quarter so you could take a lighter load and have some fun in the sun. You worked out over spring break ““ or you said you would ““ to get your beach bod ready. Now you’re off to UCLA’s very own hip sun spot: Sunset Rec.
But before you get too excited, I have to warn you that you’re not going to meet your spring fling at Sunset. The grassy area next to the pool is not a mingling ground of students, but rather a collection of distinctly delineated groups that must be navigated accordingly. Below I have attempted to provide a taxonomy of the various species that inhabit Sunset for your convenience:
Volleyballerus
If you were planning to play some sand volleyball at Sunset, think again. This species displays their legit skills and muscles on the court most of the day and makes anyone else trying to hit a ball around for fun look pitiful.
Way too tannus
These creatures migrate from their winter habitat in the tanning salons to Sunset’s outside land. Although already freakishly tan, they don’t miss a day in the sun and constantly make Sunset visitors do a double take as they bake outside.
Greekitus
This phylum is made up of the sorority girls and fraternity brothers who take up a majority of the lawn. They can be identified by Greek-letter apparel and the red cups under their lawn chairs. The girls usually have cute dresses and the boys consistently wear plaid shorts and cut-off shirts. This is the most noticeable horde on the lawn.
When asked who can always be seen at Sunset, Andrew Sinajon, a second-year applied mathematics student said, “Bros and sorority girls. Who else goes there? It’s a sea of oversized sunglasses and backwards hats.”
It’s a fact. Xochil Benavides, a sorority member and third-year sociology student, said, “As a member of the Greek system I admit we like to go and meet up there all the time.”
Frisbeeus Intensicus
Although frisbee is supposed to be a leisurely outdoor activity, this species goes all out. They show off different styles of frisbee-tossing and break a sweat on the grass, often disturbing lawn-chair dwellers who just came to relax.
Trying to Studyus
Most of us who bring a book to Sunset won’t end up doing work. This species, however, can be found intently bent over books at Sunset’s tables. As natural selection slowly takes its course, these creatures will be weeded out, eventually realizing that Sunset is not a library but a recreation center where flying footballs, flirtatious giggling and shouting get in the way of productive studying.
The only way to observe these groups at closer range is to throw a frisbee or football “accidentally” into another territory of lawn chairs and while apologizing strike up a conversation. Otherwise, plan on entering the animal kingdom of Sunset Rec with a herd of your own.
If you are interested in research on the wildlife of Sunset Rec, e-mail Bricklin at abricklin@media.ucla.edu. Send general comments to viewpoint@media.ucla.edu.