It’s 88 degrees in January, Gaza Strip is all like whoa, and Oprah’s fat again.
On this historic day when I should be writing about President Barack Obama (that looks cool in print) and inaugural-ball etiquette or something, I just can’t help myself from thinking about another black American of great power, and Oprah Winfrey be thy name.
This month, O Magazine features two images of Oprah (one more Oprah than is usually on the cover): one is a svelte, 160-pound Oprah from 2006, and the other is an overweight, 200-pound Oprah from 2008. Skinny Oprah is beaming, wearing a midriff-baring white workout outfit, while Fat Oprah shrugs with an expression on her face that says nothing but “Sheesh!” while wearing a purple jumpsuit (it should be noted that purple is a color favored by people with delusions of grandeur). The headline of the magazine reads, “How could I let this happen again?”
In her self-penned article explaining her weight gain, Oprah mentions her low point, in not even having the energy or desire to do a show with Tina Turner and Cher ““ older, fit (let’s not go so far as to say “hot”) women. Oprah said she “felt like a fat cow and wanted to disappear,” and that Turner and Cher “didn’t just sparkle; they glittered.” I’ve always thought that sparkling was more beautiful than glittering, but OK.
In the rest of the article, Oprah explains some psychological reasons for her weight gain, citing stress from her job as a catalyst for depression. I guess having a daily television show can be hard sometimes, but I doubt going on awesome road trips with your BFF Gail looking for the best sandwich in America is really that stressful. Actually, Gail is pretty annoying.
Like I learned from last week’s episode of “Gossip Girl,” money and power do not always equal happiness (but they sure are sexy). It’s a brand-new concept, I know, but within the greater Oprah context, it makes even more sense.
I love Oprah for reasons that number far more than the bags of blue corn chips she ate. She picks some heavy pieces of literature for her book club, sponsoring “A Summer of Faulkner.” Millions of housewives discussing Southern Gothic stream-of-consciousness literature can only be a good thing for America. And don’t even get me started on all the money she gives away to a handful of charities ““ she makes it rain harder than Lil’ Wayne on a Vegas vacation. It’s no secret that Oprah is the most powerful woman in America, and just like many of the “regular” women who watch her show, buy her magazine and pray to her holy image for strength and prosperity, she has a weight problem.
To hear Oprah, the seemingly indestructible Oracle of Good Living, ‘fess up to a difficult period of her life is just another example of how skillfully she connects with her millions of devotees.
But the thing that surprised me most shouldn’t have surprised me at all, and that is how big the coverage on Oprah’s weight gain has been.
When Oprah sneezes, the world wants to know what type of Kleenex she used so they can buy it for themselves. Larry King devoted an entire show to the subject without even interviewing the woman ““ he just spoke with her personal trainer and some doctor guy. Even my friends and I had a heated and disturbingly intellectualized conversation about the conceptual Oprah “brand.” I wish UCLA offered a major in Oprah Studies.
Body image/food/weight issues are never easy to deal with, even if you’re Oprah. Her frank explanation of what happened is classic Oprah in terms of self-promotion, but that’s what she does. Yeah, she used her body to sell lots of magazines, but it’s not like prostitution ““ the story in the magazine is probably spurring some profound realizations from readers. Or they could be mad that this article took up space where the middle-aged people sex tips would have been.
I guess what it all comes down to is that Oprah is amazing, whether she’s large and in charge or slim and … in something? There’s no rhyme for that, but big ups to Oprah for being real with us.
Despite Oprah’s “battle with weight gain,” she’s done worse things for her life and career, like associating with Dr. Phil and reading “The Da Vinci Code,” that make getting fat seem like small (but caloric) potatoes. Plus, once she gets her weight down again, that makes for at least one more topic for her “comeback” episode. I say, as long as she’s still in the mood for giving away cars and Wolfgang Puck appetizers, the universe will again be at peace.
If you dream of taking a cross-country road trip with Oprah’s BFF Gail, then e-mail McReynolds at dmcreynolds@media.ucla.edu.