Sexuality is losing its dramatic appeal

The first couple weeks of the New Year have been really gay, literally gay.

Think about it: Legal proceedings over Proposition 8 have resumed, “Milk” opened in wide release, and MTV premiered “The Real World: Brooklyn.”

Dubbed “the gayest season yet,” by entertainment blog EDGE Boston, “The Real World,” now in its 21st season, has (for now) three LGBT cast members: J.D., a gay dolphin trainer from Miami; Sarah, a bisexual “tattooed punk”; and Katelynn, a former man whose current status as a transgender was supposed to be the real shocker, which I’m sure the producers hoped would instigate confrontation between presumably homophobic cast members ““ after all, it has in the past.

But Katelynn’s sexuality didn’t appear to cause any immediate animosity, other than a few surprised eyebrow raises from Iraq War veteran cast member Ryan. In every preceding season of “The Real World,” and the subsequent reality spinoff shows that put together random strangers in houses with TV cameras, alcohol and Jacuzzis, there has been much more conflict between some gays and straights of the house.

I’m not saying that homosexual discrimination is gone, but rather that TV audiences have pretty much seen it all by now. Think about all the gay people on TV and in pop culture already. “Will and Grace” was a widely viewed, if awful, sitcom with two gay protagonists. Ellen DeGeneres dominates Oprah in terms of fun-ness in the afternoon talk show category. Rachel Maddow’s news commentary show on MSNBC is blowing up faster than impeached Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich can jog.

As the New York Times pointed out in its review of the show, “Katelynn is presumably supposed to shock everyone out of his or her prejudices, but it isn’t clear that her roommates actually possess any.” And since the New York Times building is closer geographically to Brooklyn, I trust their perception of the show.

People’s sexuality is no longer the hot-button source of confrontation it once was, especially for a TV channel that caters to a younger generation with more broadly liberal social views. But we still want to see some drama, right? There must be another way to instigate compelling conflict.

Instead of pitting a former dude against a conservative Iraq War veteran, I think more intriguing drama would come from people with more similar backgrounds. In a Brooklyn setting, I would like to see a cast comprised of famous Brooklynites ““ like a version of VH1’s ancient “Surreal Life” with people who the general public actually recognizes (Vince Neil? Really?). For example, an ideal cast of this re-imagined “Real World” would consist of: Woody Allen, Jay-Z, Rudolph Giuliani, Michael Jordan, Lil’ Kim, a hipster, and Tony Danza.

Here’s an example of some awesome possible conflict that could arise from this cast of characters: Confrontation would stem from Jay-Z’s constant repetition of shout-outs to the different neighborhoods of Brooklyn as he does in his song “Brooklyn’s Finest”: “Marcy,” “Bed-Stuy,” “Brownsville,” “Bushwick!”… to name a few. Giuliani would get really annoyed by this, claiming that Jay-Z was just mocking his attempts at cleaning up the city by naming all of the neighborhoods that the former mayor failed to improve. The final straw would be Jay-Z denying Giuliani entrance to his 40-40 Club in midtown Manhattan after “Yung Rudy” failed to do the dishes, culminating in a dramatic shouting fight with the phrase “disrespecting me” being thrown in a record 37 times in seven minutes.

Other examples of dramatic storylines would be the hipster attempting to forge a bond with Hova, wanting to earnestly deepen his understanding of “The Streets.” This would result in a bromance between the two, inciting the jealousy of Jordan, who just wanted Jay-Z to think he was cool.

Danza and Lil’ Kim would be butting heads over her risqué clubbing outfits and the shady characters she brought home to get busy with in the jacuzzi. (These encounters would be caught by the grainy black-and-white nightvision cameras.) Danza would confess he just feels like he needs to be a father figure to her. In the end, Kim and Danza would tenderly evolve into besties for life.

Poor old Allen would be the odd guy out, as usual ““ but you’ve got to have one loner on these types of shows. He’d occasionally mutter some commentary to the confessionals and casually shoot hoops with MJ, but that’s about it.

See, MTV doesn’t need to use so-called “controversial” LGBT cast members to get confrontational and captivating reactions. All the show needs is some real Brooklyn flavor and the show can be like Sean Penn’s butt in “Milk” ““ fabulous!

If you winced during Ryan’s Iraq War song and wished it was Jay-Z freestyling instead, then e-mail McReynolds at dmcreynolds@media.ucla.edu.

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