There’s something I need to get off my chest. I’ve got to let it out. For the past couple of months it’s been churning up my insides like a bad quesadilla.
Here it goes …
I saw “Mamma Mia!” in theaters. The play? Three times. I don’t even like ABBA; they suck.
Those crappy infomercials with the knives that slice through metal? I dig ’em. Just might buy a set.
Favorite movie? “Blue Streak.” Yep, with Martin Lawrence, the diamond and the oodles of noodles. Believe that.
But this is worse than all of it. By a lot.
See, the thing is, the football season is winding its way toward another crazy finish, and there’s a team out there that I’ve been pulling for all year. I haven’t mentioned it to anybody, really, so consider yourself the first to know.
It’s Notre Dame.
Go ahead, de-friend me on Facebook ““ or in real life ““ if you need to. Throw some stank eye my direction if you see me on campus. Write me some mail, like Chad from Utah, who informed me last week that I “don’t know (my) arse from a hole in the ground.” (Apparently if you think the Utes are overrated, you don’t either.)
But the point is, it’s OK. I get it. When it comes down to the Fighting Irish, you either love ’em or you hate ’em, and most people go running for door No. 2.
The thing is, I can’t even tell you why I’ve been rooting for the Irish. I know nobody from Ireland, never liked Charlie Weis and always thought Jimmy Clausen was more pampered than the diaper.
Maybe it’s their throwback uniforms that haven’t changed since Louisiana was still part of France. Maybe it’s that stadium they’ve got that knocked me on my arse when I first saw it. Maybe it’s the sense of tradition that sticks with Notre Dame football like a noodle in the pot.
Whatever it is, I just don’t care.
Here’s what it comes down to: Notre Dame is to college football what Emeril is to the Food Network. He doesn’t have the best show on the station and probably doesn’t crack my top five, but when he’s on, bam! The whole channel gets kicked up a notch.
Now, I’m not saying Notre Dame is without flaws. They’re chronically overrated when they win a few, get more national coverage than Verizon and allowed Brady Quinn to be in bad commercials. (Now I’m done.)
But when they’re good, college football is better for it. It adds another wrinkle in the national debate when you get such a storied team with such a storied history playing outside of any conference year in and year out. Suddenly, when they have a decent team, their yearly rivalry matchups with Michigan and ‘SC carry more consequence than voting in Ohio.
Even if you don’t like Notre Dame, can you imagine “Star Wars” without Darth Vader? Or “Dark Knight” without the Joker? Or “Super Troopers” without the Spurbury Police?
It just doesn’t work.
And this season, Notre Dame is on the rise. Now I’m not crying for joy or giving everyone bear hugs because they’re not pathetic anymore. But, I’m just saying, it’s good to see them back. Now, let’s get back to the infomercials.
E-mail Feder at jfeder@media.ucla.edu to let him know you’re no longer on speaking terms.