I almost applied to the Daily Bruin every quarter, until spring of my third year.
I’d go online, submit my profile ““ sometimes twice, due to my lack of faith in technology or if I forgot I already submitted it the first time. I wanted to write for Arts & Entertainment, but some quarters, I’d start an application for News or even Copy, if A&E wasn’t hiring.
But after a high school acquaintance who wrote for The Bruin told me that I had no chance of getting accepted in A&E, I couldn’t bring myself to take the time to write three sample pieces. I’d make excuses like “I don’t have time,” but the truth is, I didn’t think I was good enough.
I continued to put off this portion of my application until my third year. Around that time, the dreaded thought ““ what am I going to do with my life? ““ started to haunt me. And as an English student who knew I didn’t want to be a teacher, I was legitimately scared.
So I bit the bullet and finally applied, and to my great surprise, and elation, they took me. However, I developed a huge inferiority complex upon meeting the other writers, and I kept thinking that someone had made an awful mistake accepting me.
But after a while, the “you’re not good enough” voice started to disappear, and I began to gain confidence in my writing. I took pride in creating a strong lede or getting interesting quotes from a source, and the more free theater tickets I received, the more I thought, “This is something I could see myself doing for the rest of my life.”
Then, by a twist of fate, I found myself as an assistant editor, a position I felt certain I didn’t deserve because I’d only been at The Bruin for a quarter and a half at the time. It all just seemed too good to be true.
But as corny as it sounds, I think everything happens for a reason. Who knows what would have happened had I started writing my first year instead of my third.
What I do know, though, is that I wouldn’t be anywhere if I didn’t take risks and believe in myself. That’s really what my time at The Bruin taught me. And I’ve already gotten this far so I have no plans of turning back now.
Evans was an Arts & Entertainment contributor for spring and fall 2007 and an assistant Arts & Entertainment editor for winter and spring 2008. She will attend Northwestern University to earn a master’s degree in journalism.