Reality TV lost its one big friendship

They say you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone.

An old adage may actually explain my feelings for once.

This is old news now, so here’s my late pass, but sometimes time needs to pass before you realize how much you miss a TV show. That show for me was “Rob and Big,” which aired its last episode on April 15.

Normally, I make a point to avoid 90 percent of programming on MTV, a personal code that dates back to my angsty middle school days. Old habits die hard.

But occasionally the fine folks over at MTV manage to hack up a series I can stand and even genuinely appreciate.

I’ve been known to dabble in the arenas of “The Gauntlet,” and as a male I find certain segments of “Jackass” to be endlessly entertaining (except, of course, the unbearable cult of personality that has developed around Ritalin-deprived man-child Bam Margera). But it is truly rare that I have been able to call a show from MTV one of my favorites.

Essentially, “Rob and Big” is a fish-out-of-water buddy movie like “Rush Hour” or “Lethal Weapon” expanded into a full TV show, minus the cop elements of those movies. Like what would Murtaugh and Riggs be like buying groceries together or getting funny haircuts? “Rob and Big” answers those burning questions by following the lives of Rob Dyrdek, professional skateboarder and founder of DC shoes, and his bodyguard and best friend Christopher “Big Black” Boykin.

I do realize that like other supposed “reality” shows on MTV, “Rob and Big” did have some scripted elements. Do I think they woke up one day and absolutely thought they needed a mini-horse? No. Do I think they got a mini-horse because they thought it would make a good episode? Yes. Was it hilarious? Absolutely.

In terms of dialogue, the natural interplay between Rob and Big was simply too quick and too natural to be scripted. Maybe they did something like “The Office,” where they had a rough outline of what to talk about, but the genuine friendship between the two of them shines through.

So now that I have defended the show, here are the top things I will miss about “Rob and Big.”

Friendship as the basis of reality TV

What a novel idea! Instead of cramming people together in a house that all hate each other or will hate each other, why don’t we follow some best friends around? It had to happen sooner or later. The seemingly infinite well of bile that TV executives draw upon to create new reality shows has grown shallow. Rather than follow strangers who are bound to have friction between each other, “Rob and Big” follows two good-natured best friends. The good vibes that emanate from the two of them are infectious. And it’s not a good time you can’t have yourself. They don’t draw an economic distinction or show off how wealthy they are. All the fun they have, you could have with your best friend.

As a result, the things they do together, which have the potential to be just weird and boring, take on a whole new dimension because they really seem like fun.

Some episodes are essentially just extended games of dress-up: Rob and Big go to get wigs, Rob and Big go to a stripping class, Rob and Big film an R&B music video and, in one of the most hysterical things I’ve ever seen on reality television, Rob and Big take a promotional photo for their Kashi-aping cereal “Special Buddies” dressed as old women.

Other networks should take heed. Maybe a show about Robert Evans and Slash?

Slang

As Big Black says, he’s from the streets. As a result, a near constant string of slang comes out of his mouth, some of which has entered the cultural lexicon.

From Big’s insistence on having to “do work” to his invention of the “manpon,” even to popularizing the term “25er” for someone who goes bald at 25. These terms have all wormed their way into my vocabulary and I’m sure into hundreds of other people’s.

Drama

The only real drama on the show was Drama, Rob’s cousin and gofer. The perpetually sullen and apathetic Drama provided the perfect foil to the gregarious duo of Rob and Big.

Drama was like the thugged-out, white, B-minus student in your high school who made Lil Jon-style beats on his dad’s computer. His blank-faced reactions to Rob and Big’s pranks and “lessons,” which included them forcing him to work in fast food and buying a billboard of a bald version of him, made the show that much more interesting. Rob and Big had someone to abuse, but always in good fun.

Other Supporting Cast Members

Meaty the bulldog and Mini the mini-horse only added to the surreal quality of the show, with several episodes focusing mainly on them. Meaty could skate, and I didn’t even know mini-horses existed until this show. Educational.

Finally, the single most bizarre character on the show was Uncle Jerry, Big Black’s relative from Mississippi. From just-a-tad-too-long hugs to incomprehensible speech to oaths of love sworn to Rob, Uncle Jerry will be sorely missed, along with the rest of the show. I know I’m signing the petition.

If you’d like to see a show about Robert Evans and Slash, e-mail Ayres at jayres@media.ucla.edu.

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