From across the dance floor, a girl makes eye contact with a guy leaning against the wall, and he immediately heads toward her as she continues to glance his way.
The guy smiles once he reaches her and asks if it hurt when she fell from heaven. She responds simply by rolling her eyes and turning away.
Though we are biologically wired to mate, entering into a social interaction with a romantic interest can be easily butchered by feelings of overconfidence or, conversely, fear.
If your night on the town includes finding someone to have a romantic tryst with later in the evening, you should have a well-prepared and flawless plan of action.
Scope out the atmosphere as soon as you walk through the front door, whether it’s after passing through a roped line or stepping in from the carpeted apartment building hallway.
That cute guy might be manning the keg, or that hot girl in the miniskirt might be ordering a drink at the bar, so you need to position yourself close to your interest.
Checking out your options before moving in is also a good idea in case the Abercrombie model look-alike ends up having no personality and you find yourself in need of someone else to talk to.
You should make eye contact to show that you are interested and ready to talk.
“It’s a low-cost way of testing the waters,” said Benjamin Karney, associate professor of psychology at UCLA. Holding an individual’s gaze is a way of determining if that person wants to initiate a conversation, he said.
Even though the lovers in romance novels exchange coy glances, it only takes a simple smile to invite a person over to talk.
Once you’ve conveyed your interest, introduce yourself and start a conversation before you move in for the touch.
Research done in bars has shown that, in most romantic interactions, the male will come over to the woman and begin conversation, but only after the woman has invited him in a nonverbal manner such as with eye contact, Karney said.
Put ideas of old-fashioned courting practices aside because it no longer makes a difference whether the guy or the girl begins the conversation.
Cheesy pick-up lines should be avoided at all costs because they convey immaturity.
“Pick-up lines are always bad, even if they try to be funny,” said Caitlin Morrissey, a first-year undeclared student. “They show you are insecure and you have a bad sense of humor.”
These lines are unsuccessful because they are cliched and do not give the other person any sense of your personality.
“I always think, “˜You can come up with something better than that,'” said Estela Villanueva, a first-year biology student.
After breaking the ice, steer conversation toward topics that you both are interested in, whether it be the UCLA basketball team or the Converse sneakers you’re both sporting.
“Find something you’re both excited to talk about,” said Michael Hanson, a fourth-year theater student.
If conversation doesn’t flow naturally, then the relationship is doomed from the start. You’d probably have more fun talking to your friends than trying to force conversation with a stranger.
“Awkward silences kill any interaction,” Hanson said.
Always be aware of your level of enthusiasm, and be careful to make sure that it’s appropriate to the other person.
“Two people in conversation tend to mimic each other’s behaviors, and when they are in sync with each other, the conversation goes well,” Karney said.
For this reason, pay attention to the other person’s body language. If that cute guy turns away from you to talk with his friends, then chances are it isn’t meant to be, and you should move on.
Picking up a love interest is easily accomplished for some, but, armed with the correct tactics, the love of your life may be just one “hello” away.