I don’t know if you have a favorite celebrity chef, but mine is Mario Batali. If you’re inclined to call food an artistic expression, he is the Dali of the pizza universe ““ bold, fantastic at what he does and a little bit nuts.
He’s famous for cooking authentic, Italian-style pizzas and I have never thought I was a good enough cook to try to emulate his work. He is also famous for wearing orange Crocs in the kitchen, an activity I most certainly will never try.
Well, readers, over the past two weeks my kitchen has been covered in flour and I have been working furiously to craft a delicious pie.
The most important lessons from this journey? Gluten-free flour does not rise with this recipe, use more Parmesan than you think you need, and under no circumstances should you forget to saute the mushrooms before you bake the pizza.
The most basic part of the pizza is the dough. While it is perfectly acceptable for you to buy it at the store, I find that homemade very often trumps store-bought. It’s also easy as, well, pie.
Combine a one-fourth-ounce package of active yeast with about a tablespoon each of honey and olive oil, then add one cup of very hot tap water. Stir, and wait for about five minutes until it looks foamy. Then add in a generous pinch of salt and slowly sift in about three cups of flour as you mix.
Dump the dough out onto a floured cutting board and knead it for a few minutes until it’s only a bit sticky. If you’re unsure how to knead something, the easiest way is to fold it into itself and use it as a miniature punching bag.
Take a large mixing bowl and coat the inside with olive oil. Then put the dough in, cover it with a warm, damp cloth and let it sit on the counter for about an hour and a half to rise.
In the meantime it’s time to make the sauce. You could also buy this rather than making it by hand, but since I am a masochist and this is supposed to be an instructional experience, I will tell you how to make it from scratch.
Mince about half an onion and two cloves of garlic and saute them in the bottom of a sauce pot for three to five minutes.
Then peel about 10 tomatoes. I’m kidding. I used a 28-ounce can of diced tomatoes. Pour in the tomatoes, including the juice in the can, and add in dried herbs to taste. I use a mix of salt and pepper, cilantro, thyme, oregano, basil and herbs de provence. Let the sauce simmer, stirring regularly, for about 30 minutes. If the tomatoes are too chunky, you can break them up with a fork or potato masher.
While the sauce is simmering, prepare the ingredients to put on the pizza. I used Parmesan cheese, mozzarella, canned black olives, cremini mushrooms and pepperoni. To prepare the mushrooms, clean, slice and saute them until they are brown.
Take the dough out of the bowl and knead it for a few more minutes, then cut it in half. At this point you can make two pizzas or save the rest of the dough for later use. To store, wrap it in plastic wrap and put it in a ziplock bag ““ it should store for a little under a week in the fridge. Then roll out the dough you’re going to use into a 12- to 13-inch circle and place it on a baking sheet with nonstick spray. Gently ladle on the sauce and spread it out to an even but thin layer, leaving room for the crust. Pile on the cheese and other ingredients and you’re good to go.
Bake at 500 degrees for 12 to 13 minutes or until the crust is brown and the cheese is bubbly. If you want the experience to be extra European, you can exclude the tomato sauce entirely and enjoy your pizza with a glass of sparkling water.
Enjoy pie jokes and orange crocs? E-mail Pesce at apesce@media.ucla.edu.