Going to the movies is slowly but surely becoming an archaic pastime. Increases in ticket prices, the low quality and constant homogeneity of the latest wide releases, outrageous gas prices, etc., are taking their toll. However, I recently discovered a common annoyance that, while underestimated, is probably a huge contributor to dwindling box office ticket sales.
This perpetrator walks, talks (loudly) and even texts at the most important or most inopportune moments of the movie. That’s right folks: I’m talking about the obnoxious audience member.
Last week, I was innocently watching a sneak preview of “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” when, only about 10 minutes into the film, the man next to me chuckled directly into my right ear. He laughed, he yelped, he knee-slapped, clapped and even made “woooo” noises during the romantic scenes like a long-lost viewer of “Saved by the Bell: The College Years.”
While I love watching a film early to get the best, most animated audience reactions to every scary plot twist and hilarious one-liner, there is only so much I can take before these noises actually end up interfering with the movie itself.
I’m sure we all have our personal horror stories, like the time I went to see “The Bourne Ultimatum” this past summer. Two audience members decided to get into a verbal brawl right at the movie’s climatic car chase. And if that wasn’t enough, earlier in the movie an older man decided to leave his cell phone on full volume and, what was better, to answer it. Then, just when my friends and I thought we were home free in the final few minutes, the man behind us loudly told his companion the ending.
While this was a worst-case scenario and the theater did give the entire audience free movie passes because of the fight, even the minor mute interruptions like the bright flash of a cell phone screen or the sound of a nearby viewer rapidly texting their “BFF” should be taken seriously.
If I wasn’t as obsessed with movies as I am, I would have started to set my movie money aside for shopping trips and more coffee runs long ago.
With incidents like these, in addition to the individuals who stand up in front of you to go to the bathroom numerous times, it’s no wonder people are staying home and renting movies from the Internet rather than making a trek to the theater. The worst part is, there’s absolutely nothing to be done on the part of the theater owners. Those cute but obvious cell phone reminders are standard across the country, and at most of the nicer theaters here in Los Angeles, they even bring in ushers to personally introduce the upcoming movie and remind everyone, again, to silence their phones and be respectful.
While this may relate more to the much bigger problem of decreasing manners and common courtesy in our 21st century society, can’t we just all just get along and act civilized for a measly 90 minutes?
I’m sure it’s hard to keep knee-slapping and texting to a minimum, but for the sake of my $11 ticket stub and $7 popcorn and soda combo, will the obnoxious moviegoers please stand up ““ I mean, sit down. I’m trying to watch the movie.
If you throw Milk Duds at the backs of movie watchers’ heads, e-mail Stanhope at kstanhope@media.ucla.edu.