Can’t you feel it coming? It’s (almost) Christmas ““ the most holy of holidays for Christians and consumers. A time for charity, family and of course, a predictable slapstick comedy ““ this year in the form of “Fred Claus.”
The beginning of the film is rather terrifying, with a massively red-faced Kathy Bates giving birth to Nicholas Claus. With this birth, we are also introduced to the character of Nicholas’ loving older brother, Fred.
Fred is a ragtag but well-intentioned underdog to his “saintly” younger sibling.
As the boys get older, Fred’s cynicism towards Nicholas grows, thanks in part to Mama Claus’ “you-should-be-more-like-your-brother” comments.
Then we cut to present-day Chicago, where we meet a grown-up Fred, played by Vince Vaughn (“The Break Up,” “Wedding Crashers”), and his girlfriend Wanda, played by Rachel Weisz (“The Constant Gardener,” “The Mummy”). Wanda is much too lovely to be a meter maid, and the chemistry between Vaughn and Weisz deserves a ticket.
Unlike another recent holiday film “Elf,” in which Will Ferrell gave an over-the-top performance as a naive man-child, Vince Vaughn plays Vince Vaughn ““ a fast-talking, charming cynic with enough scruff to make him likable, even though despising his character in real life would be totally reasonable.
As loaded as the cast might seem (three of the actors have won Oscars), even Kevin Spacey (“Superman Returns,” “American Beauty”) can’t save the film. But his role as the token Grinch-y “efficiency expert” is refreshingly callous in a sickeningly sweet, candy cane-laced world.
The inclusion of rapper Ludacris as a poorly CGI’d DJ elf is kind of funny, if only for his defense of his elf street cred: “I’m from the southside of the North Pole.” Maybe it was only funny because as he said this, his face was all blurry from the terrible animation.
Irony of southern rappers aside, the elves as a unit are weird and creepy, especially when they sing and dance together in the toy factory, or sprint outside in the snow in brainwashed glee.
And then there is “Santa’s Little Helper” Charlene, a blonde (regular-sized) bombshell, played by Elizabeth Banks (“Seabiscuit,” “Spider-man”) wearing what looks like a “feminine” Aah’s Halloween version of a Santa costume.
Granted, some of the jokes border on witty, like a reference to Patty Hearst and a scene from a “Siblings Anonymous” meeting where Roger Clinton, Stephen Baldwin and Frank Stallone convene with Fred. But, as you might guess from the PG rating, the fun stops there.
Like any Christmas movie, there is an unwritten obligation to get serious when exploring the “real meaning of Christmas,” but “Claus” veers off in a strange direction with a subplot that revolves around a foster kid who may end up on the naughty list.
While the scenes are well-intentioned, the cheese that oozes from them is just too much ““ even for a Christmas movie.
““ Devon McReynolds
E-mail McReynolds at dmcreynolds@media.ucla.edu.