If one listens close enough, one can hear Karl Dorrell’s name coupled with all sorts of awful four-letter words around Westwood these days.
In the aftermath of UCLA’s humiliating loss to Pac-10 bottom-feeder Washington State on Saturday night, the most ardent critics of Dorrell are now shouting, louder than ever, for UCLA Athletic Director Dan Guerrero to dismiss his football coach at the conclusion of the season. Even the most patient and understanding supporters of Dorrell, who thought the first-time coach needed to be given enough time to succeed, are now starting to question whether or not the Bruins are moving in the right direction.
When Bob Dylan wrote, “The carpet, too, is folding under you / and it’s all over now, Baby Blue,” he probably wasn’t bemoaning Dorrell’s coaching career. Nevertheless, those words seem entirely accurate in describing the whirlwind of negativity surrounding Dorrell at this moment. Earlier in the week, a Sports Illustrated columnist even went so far as to label Dorrell the single worst coach in the country.
Barring an improbable turnaround against the cream of the conference ““ the Bruins finish with No. 6 Arizona State, No. 4 Oregon, and No. 13 USC after taking on hapless Arizona this week ““ the 2007 season will be an enormous disappointment for Dorrell. With 22 seniors and 20 starters returning from last year’s team, and a roster filled with all of his recruits, Dorrell looks like he’ll only manage a seven-win season, at best. The only remaining question is whether or not the season will disintegrate into enough of a mess to cost Dorrell his job.
So let’s analyze the different scenarios in which the Bruins (5-3, 4-1 Pac-10) can finish out the season, and what the implications would be for Dorrell.
Scenario No. 1: The Bruins win out.
Given that running back Kahlil Bell is gone for the year, are we really going to entertain this notion?
Scenario No. 2: The Bruins win three out of four.
Should the Bruins collect eight wins and make a Sun Bowl appearance, then Dorrell’s job would just about certainly be safe. But should anyone who follows the program really be satisfied with an eight-win season in a supposed watershed year with all these returning starters and an underwhelming Trojan club across town? It’s rhetorical, but here’s the answer, anyway: no, a million times, no.
Scenario No. 3: The Bruin split.
Seven wins and a likely Las Vegas Bowl appearance. Ugh. Going 6-3 in the loaded Pac-10 is no shame, especially this year. But it’s the way in which Dorrell’s team has lost this year that is putting his job in jeopardy. Losses to Utah, one-win Notre Dame and last-place Washington State means that if the Bruins finish 7-5, they shouldn’t have done any worse than 9-3. He should be fired with this result. The question, though, is will he.
Scenario No. 4: The Bruins win one of four.
Six-and-six and Dorrell would almost certainly get his walking papers and a tasty little buyout.
If the Bruins, say, beat Arizona this week and then get embarrassed at home against Arizona State and Oregon, and then close out the year with another loss at the L.A. Coliseum, that would make Guerrero’s decision a whole lot easier.
If indeed Guerrero decides to “go in another direction” then he’d likely show Dorrell the door before the bowl game so that he can begin the search process as early as possible. This seems like the most likely scenario, in which case we might be lucky enough to see Ed Kezirian back on the sidelines for a bowl game, holding down the fort until the new coach comes riding in at dawn to save the day. The irony of all this playing out, in hopes that Kezirian could pick up his second bowl win, shouldn’t be lost on anyone. After all, Dorrell only has one bowl win.
Scenario No. 5: The Bruins lose out.
Strike another match, go start anew.
And it’s all over now, Baby Blue.