I’ve heard just about enough about this Kobe Bryant guy.
First he loves Shaq, then he wants his own team. First he wants Phil Jackson gone, then he welcomes the Zen master back. First he’s happy being the go-to guy, then he decides he’d rather have “his own team” include a few reliable shooters and some low-post players not named “Andrew Bynum” and “Kwame Brown.” First he wants to be traded, then he wants to bring a championship back to Los Angeles.
Now he maybe wants to be traded but wants you to ask someone else about it because he’s not the general manager or the owner and that’s their decision.
Well you know what? First I cared a little bit.
Now? Not so much.
Granted, I’m not a Lakers fan. I’m from Orange County, but back when Shaq, Kobe and Phil were winning championships, I was rooting for whomever they were playing because I was 15 and it was more fun to argue with my friends than it was to root along with them.
Still, I’ll willingly admit that Kobe is the best basketball player on the planet right now, and, as he proved with Team USA over the summer, he wants to win. Badly.
That’s fine. But this soap opera needs to stop.
At some point, “Kobe Watch” became a national pastime in the media.
Bored? Go see what Kobe’s up to. This week, for example, he supposedly cleaned out his locker. Guess he must be getting ready to leave town. But wait, it turns out he was only reorganizing the things in his locker? Well, maybe that’s a metaphor for the roster reorganization he wants to see the Lakers front office undertake.
It’s a situation that would be difficult to imagine anywhere other than Los Angeles. Every move Kobe makes is scrutinized for some indication of whether he wants to stay or go.
Every time Jackson, owner Jerry Buss or General Manager Mitch Kupchak opens his mouth it becomes a barometer on how close the franchise is to moving or not moving No. 8. Whoops, I mean No. 24.
Exhibit A: Over the summer, a video surfaced on the Internet of Kobe ranting in a Newport Beach parking lot about Buss and the Lakers management, and telling the video’s makers to “get a Bulls jersey.”
Sure, maybe that suggests Kobe’s not happy as a Laker, but it’s also a very bad sign when a glorified YouTube video is relevant to major franchise decisions.
I mean, I have a friend who used to bag groceries in a Pavilions in Newport Beach, and he said he saw Kobe come in and buy a melon and a gallon of milk once. What should we make of that?
I’d guess that if it was a cantaloupe then Kobe wants to play in the Eastern Conference. But if it was a honeydew, he’s probably going to Phoenix.
Exhibit B: Buss admitted this week that he’s not completely opposed to trading Kobe, but that the Lakers would have to get something approaching equal value, which he said would be extremely difficult given how good Kobe is.
If you pay any attention to the NBA you’ve known that much for a while, but all of a sudden this is a big deal. Everyone wants to know how this will sit with Kobe.
Given that he’s demanded to be traded in the past, is he supposed to be angry that the Lakers might consider trading him? And if he is, what’s he going to do? Demand to be traded again?
The fact is that Kobe’s probably not happy as a Laker, but he’s much too professional to let that stop him from playing his tail off. The Lakers will probably try and move him but not until they can find a deal that doesn’t completely mortgage their future.
For now, I’m washing my hands of all the Kobe stories.
Let’s stop sticking mics in the faces of Kobe, Buss, Jackson and Kupchak. They obviously can’t help themselves from saying just about anything, which we’ll turn into something when it’s all really nothing.
When Kobe gets traded or starts playing regular season games, then we can talk.
Until then, I’ll see if I can do something about all the columns being written about the guy.
If you have any information regarding whether the milk Kobe purchased was 2 percent or skim, e-mail Lampros at nlampros@media.ucla.edu.