When nothing is going according to plan, take a vacation

For the entire month of August, while U.S. troops are fighting and dying, the Iraqi parliament will be on a much-needed vacation.

Although I’m sure the parliament believes turning Iraq into a country that no longer needs the blood of American soldiers to protect it is important. However, as White House Press Secretary Tony Snow told reporters, it gets really hot in Iraq during the summer. Sometimes up to 130 degrees.

I was stunned. If I lived somewhere that regularly reached 130 degrees in August I wouldn’t just leave for a month; I’d leave forever. You have to admire the parliament’s commitment.

A reporter reminded Snow that U.S. troops, decked out in full body armor that can range in weight from 31 to 38 pounds for those enlisted in the Army, would be on patrol while the parliament vacationed. Snow had a cutting reply ready. “That’s a good point,” he said.

Take that, reporter.

Snow also could have added that the parliament has been completely over-worked lately. During this past Thursday’s session, many key members were absent, along with about half of the parliament itself. A quarter of the total two-hour session was spent taking roll.

Additionally ““ and this shows just how taxing it is to be a member of the Iraqi parliament ““ eight of the attending members were so exhausted after the first vote, they went home for the day.

The development of “an Iraq that can self-govern,” as President Bush likes to call it, is going so well that according to The New York Times, the Iraqi national government is refusing to take over the majority of U.S.-funded projects in Iraq, such as restoring power plants and hospitals.

This means that billions of our tax dollars are being totally wasted, as most of these projects are either abandoned or become inoperable because local Iraqis do not have the resources or the know-how to maintain them.

Coupling this with the fact that many members of the parliament have only recently returned from weeks-long boycotts (or as I like to call it, pre-vacation) ““ and some still refuse to attend cabinet meetings ““ makes it easy to see why there is absolutely no reason to be concerned about the parliament’s month-long hiatus.

After all, it’s not like the Bush administration really meant it when they pressured the Iraqi prime minister to ask parliament to cut their vacations a little short, or to cancel them completely.

They just wanted to give the parliament a reminder that they have taken months to pass just two pieces of legislation that would help defuse sectarian violence in the country.

But everyone understands that when you’re lounging at the pool drinking Mai Tais, thinking about defusing sectarian violence is such a downer. Especially when you consider how many American men and women in uniform are dying in the cross fire every day.

President Bush defended the Parliament by noting that “they’re working hard learning what it means to have a parliament that functions.”

Exactly, Mr. President. The Iraqi parliament is working hard learning how to work hard.

Another group of people who have been learning how to work hard lately is our troops.

With their time in Iraq being constantly extended and many of them on third or fourth tours of duty, they deserve an extended break too. Since everything in Iraq is apparently going so swimmingly, I’m sure no one will notice their absence.

And even if someone does notice, since Bush and the rest of his administration seem to have so much faith in the Iraqi government and its abilities, maybe they could fill in for the troops while they’re gone.

What a perfect excuse for Bush to wear his flight suit again.

Strickland is interested in a job where she can totally screw up and have an entire month’s vacation. Send employment opportunities to kstrickland@media.ucla.edu. General comments can be sent to viewpoint@media.ucla.edu.

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