Will you marry me?
Don’t get flustered; I would never actually ask that question in a column, nor would I answer it before thousands of intrigued pairs of eyes. But, as if I don’t have enough to be worried about between graduation, finals and preparing for graduate school, the prospect of exchanging “I dos” has been on my mind.
No, all that studying hasn’t driven me insane. It’s just that in Celebrity Central, it’s raining weddings.
In between stocking my cart full of Kraft macaroni and cheese and chocolate chip cookies at Ralphs on Sunday, I perused the celebrity gossip magazines and was surprised to find that my new favorite British songstress of the moment, Amy Winehouse, had tied the knot on Friday in Miami.
Winehouse, 23, married boyfriend Blake Fielder-Civil, also 23, after being engaged since April. They’ve had a turbulent on-again, off-again relationship for two and a half years, but it seems as if a diamond ring from Tiffany’s was enough to do the trick and put their tumultuous past behind them.
And it’s not just Winehouse with a rock on her finger these days.
While procrastinating on People.com,
I learned that Jordana Brewster, Brittany Murphy, Neve Campbell and Evanescence singer Amy Lee have all gotten married in recent weeks.
To avoid all this matrimonial bliss, I went downstairs to the TV room and clicked on the television, but I still couldn’t get away from women in flowing white gowns. Whether it was “Desperate Housewives” or the TiVo-ed season finale of “Grey’s Anatomy,” even my favorite television characters were walking down the aisle.
It even infiltrated my Facebook news feed; the announcements keep popping up like wildfire. Status updates saying “Jennifer is engaged” or congratulatory wall posts constantly reminded me that despite being in a three-and-a-half year relationship, couples who have been together a mere three weeks are headed to the altar.
In the midst of this flurry of wedding activity, I couldn’t help but wonder how you could know that he or she was “the one” after a few nights of Merlot and fantastic French films.
For me, marriage is like getting a fire-breathing dragon tattoo in Venice: 50 years down the line, will you be gazing at that dragon with excitement or resentment? Even after you get married, you might run into problems. I wish I knew what keeps the Tom Hanks and Rita Wilsons of the world together while the Reese Witherspoons and Ryan Phillippes end in painful divorce.
But after observing my parents’ 25-plus years of loving marriage, I think the secret to a long-lasting, successful marriage is being aware that the honeymoon stage won’t last forever.
Marriages aren’t perfect, and neither are the people in them. Staying together will be a roller coaster and it won’t always be easy. But being able to communicate about expectations and problems, the ability to forgive and forget, and having a solid foundation as best friends will make the ride a lot smoother.
So in the end, it doesn’t matter if the sounds of your favorite band make his ears cringe or if you have to spend twice as much at the grocery store because you don’t eat the same foods. It doesn’t even matter if you want to eradicate AIDS in Latin America and he wants to be a pretentious rock critic in New York.
Call me naive. Call me idealistic. But what truly matters is the love two people share. In the end, your love will conquer all.
If you’d marry Fylstra, propose to her at jfylstra@media.ucla.edu.