Survivors feel pain, renewal

After being told two years ago that his stomach cancer had diminished, Roberto Martinez, a 21-year-old student from Santa Monica College, said he can still clearly recall being overwhelmed with feelings of thankfulness and rebirth.

From being diagnosed with cancer at 18 to defeating it at 19, Martinez said he has undergone a drastic transformation.

“Before (my cancer), I was just living for the sake of living,” Martinez said. “But now I’ve been given a second chance and I don’t want to waste it.”

For many cancer survivors like Martinez, having lived with cancer has changed their lives not only physically, but also socially and emotionally.

More than 150 survivors, doctors and educators gathered at Covel Commons on April 14 to learn about and share experiences with cancer in an event titled UCLA Cancer Survivorship Education Day.

Joan Venticinque, a 54-year-old graphic designer, spoke of being diagnosed with breast cancer in 1998 and again in 2003, and said even though the cancer is gone, she still does not feel like she has completely gotten over the disease.

The effects of insomnia and bone loss as well as the constant need for hormonal therapy served as constant reminders of her battle against cancer.

“I think about it not as having survived (cancer) but as surviving it,” Venticinque said. “There are still things I need to do as part of survivorship.”

Survivors may have to deal with chronic pain, fatigue, infertility, osteoporosis and secondary cancers, as well as cognitive changes such as fear of recurrence, anger or guilt, said Jacqueline Casillas, an assistant professor of pediatrics at the Jonsson Comprehensive Cancer Center.

These physical effects of life after cancer usually go hand in hand with the emotional hardships of coping with what the future may still hold.

Angie Hernandez, a 38-year-old entertainment company field worker who was diagnosed with colon cancer last February, described the difficulty of returning to the life she had before because the possibility of recurrence and side effects was always hanging over her head.

“I would start leading a semi-normal life and forget about the cancer, but then the follow-ups would just throw me back into it all,” Hernandez said.

Not only did the cancer change the way she lived her life, it also gave her a new way of looking at life and the things that are really important.

“Now there’s so much more emphasis on being able to get through the day that I forget about the little things like traffic or waiting for the elevator that used to annoy me,” Hernandez said.

Similarly, Venticinque said, as a result of her experience with cancer, she has changed her life style and has started working with the Lance Armstrong Foundation for cancer.

“The cancer was a huge wake-up call,” Venticinque said. “I reevaluated my life ““ the people I want in my life, what I want to do.”

This form of reevaluation is experienced by many cancer patients who often redirect their lives in reaction to the profound realization of their own mortality, causing many to set new and different goals, Venticinque added.

For young people, the effects of cancer can have profound life-changing effects as well, since two-thirds of childhood cancer survivors will feel the physical and emotional side effects of being touched by cancer in years to come.

“There are many more years of life saved for someone who is 20 than 60,” she said. “Many young people are still trying to figure out their lives” when they are diagnosed with the disease.

Such was the case for Martinez, who has decided to become a registered nurse, rather than a lawyer, to help others with diseases, he said.

“I wanted to become a lawyer to make money, but now I realize that money isn’t everything,” Martinez said. “Money doesn’t buy health.”

And some peoples’ lives can be profoundly changed by others’ experiences with the disease.

Every time second-year neuroscience student Paul Smithedajkul walks into his house, he says a sad feeling washes over him at the sight of the empty chair his father, who passed away of liver cancer, always used to sit in.

Having discovered the cancer in the fourth, or latest, stage, Smithedajkul’s father had only two months to live, the majority of which was spent with chronic pain and stomach swelling. He said dealing with this was hard but gave him an appreciation for life and good health in the midst of tragedy.

But not all stories end this way.

Despite the variety of effects of cancer that survivors experience, they all agree that attitude is the most important thing when facing cancer.

Hernandez said she can sum up the key to survivorship in one word: fight.

“You have to know what you’re up against and you have to face it head on,” Hernandez said.

For Venticinque, a positive attitude helped her overcome cancer and it will also be what keeps her alive, she said.

“I am optimistic about the future because I have to be,” Venticinque said.

Taking an active approach to fighting cancer has been named by many survivors as essential in beating the disease.

Because cancer survivors may be physically weak, they have to maintain a strong mind-set, Martinez said.

“If you tell your mind that you’re sick, you’re going to feel sick,” Martinez said. “A lot of people just give up on life, and you can’t do that.”

Martinez said the key is to keep fighting, because, although cancer is a powerful force, maintaining a strong will to live can be even more powerful.

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