The University of Spoiled Children has just signed its most sought-after basketball recruit.
The prized prospect has already been on MTV Cribs flaunting his mansion and exotic cars. At 17, he’s a rap star and actor with his own clothing label.
Yes, it’s an absurd, unbelievable story, but I can spell it out pretty easily for all the Bruin fans: U-S-C.
Romeo Miller, better known as “Lil’ Romeo,” will be suiting up for the Trojans in 2008. He is the son of hip-hop mogul Master P. It’s hard to imagine a kid living a more extravagant life than Romeo has. Maybe he said it best in his song “U Can’t Shine Like Me.”
“I got a Bentley that I don’t even drive, and I just bought a Phantom just to see how it ride.”
I wonder if he’ll be taking those with him to practice?
He verbally committed to USC this weekend along with his best friend Demar Derozan. Master P. coached the pair on the P. Miller Ballers AAU team.
Derozan, the highly touted prospect from Compton High, will be on scholarship at ‘SC. It’s been reported that Miller won’t be offered one.
I doubt Romeo, who calls himself Richie Rich and brags about his Kool-Aid-filled fountain, will be too disappointed about paying tuition.
For now, Miller is still a junior point guard at Beverly Hills High School. He averaged 14 points per game this season, but his team went just 14-12. It’s hard to say if he is a legitimate prospect. He certainly isn’t dominant, but I suppose his fame and connections were enough for Tim Floyd and the Trojan basketball team to take the chance.
Or maybe Floyd was convinced by Miller’s rap:
“I’m rocking and keep me more dimes than John Stockton.”
My hunch is that Floyd wanted the high-flying Derozan so badly that he was willing to take Miller as a walk-on. This is the coach who landed Taj Gibson and super recruit OJ Mayo; he’s willing to jump through all the hoops. The signing comes amid the departures of Nick Young and Gabe Pruitt, so Floyd could just be desperate.
Maybe Romeo won’t cut it as a student athlete. I can’t fathom any motivation for the 18-year-old multi-millionaire to get up for an 8 a.m. economics class. Perhaps the competition will be just a bit tougher than the extras in his music videos. Miller could easily retreat to his fortunes, just like his dad did after trying out for the NBA in 1999. I’m sure we’d all shed a tear.
But maybe the small, quick point guard will succeed. Derozan says he’s one of the best point guards in the class. If he’s right, this is really a match made in heaven. USC, dying to shed its “just a football school” reputation, will get the publicity it craves during basketball season. Miller can get his shot at Division 1 basketball and still be able to drive his $100,000 car back to his Beverly Hills mansion after practice. And I think it’s fair to say that the folks down at ‘SC won’t give him too much trouble about his homeschooling, like Beverly Hills High did.
But when he gets to ‘SC, the battles will be for real. No longer will Miller be feuding with Lil’ Bow Wow through his lyrics, he’ll be facing the tenacious defense of Russell Westbrook and the rest of the Bruins. He won’t be acting for a Nickelodeon TV audience; he’ll be sweating out close games in Pauley Pavilion in front of the raucous Den. Instead of rap in the background it’ll be a thunderous 8-clap.
No matter what, Lil’ Romeo will be doing it with Hollywood flash and flair, just the way the Trojans like it.
E-mail Allen at sallen@media.ucla.edu if this column made you say ugh, na na na na.