Can you keep a secret? Maybe you shouldn’t

Somewhere in New York City in a pink-walled venue covered in drawings of naked women and baby dolls smoking cigarettes, people flock to read their teenage diaries.

These 20- and 30-somethings gather around just to stand up on stage and read out their most private and most embarrassing moments to complete strangers.

Everything from junior high crushes to petty robbery to betrayal of best friends is put on show here for anyone who is willing to walk into Freddy’s Bar and Backroom in Brooklyn.

I wonder whether it would work if we had a similar event at UCLA. We stand at a point when high school wounds are still semi-fresh and maybe we are too obsessed with the idea of our own privacies.

I would love to see the Harry Potter-esque Kerckhoff Coffeehouse with dim lights, drowning in students all there to listen to each others’ secrets read out loud from early diaries.

Patrons of Freddy’s declare that divulging the contents of their diaries is a cathartic experience. This event, fittingly titled Cringe Night, has become immensely popular ““ a sort of a fight-club scene but on the other spectrum of expression. Some Bruins are on board, but others are not.

“I didn’t keep a diary, but even if I did, I wouldn’t do it,” said Helen Nguyen, a second-year undeclared student. “It is an awkward stage of life that you really just want to keep to yourself.” It makes sense to stay away from divulging personal tidbits but really, unless you’re Jason Bourne, I think we can all stand to let a little something show.

For example, this is something I never told anyone just because it is ridiculous: You know how most bathrooms are set up with a sink on one side and the bathtub on the other with shower curtain always drawn so you never know what is in the bathtub?

Odds are, in a perfectly rational world, behind that shower curtain lie completely mundane objects. However, when I was 9 ““ when the drawn shower curtain began to make me uncomfortable ““ I made up a tribe of goblins.

If you walked into the bathroom but didn’t check behind the curtain, a goblin that was sure to be hiding there would go tell your secrets to the world. Even now ““ even though I made this up when I was tiny and overly imaginative ““ I always check behind the shower curtain of every bathroom I enter.

While most people I asked for secrets gave me shifty eyes and excused themselves, I did get a hold of a few.

“When I was little, my parents would punish me by putting me in the garage for a while. After that, I started scolding my dolls and throwing them in the garage too,” said Kesha Zaveri, a second-year psychobiology student.

“A guy I had a crush on in high school worked at Starbucks. So one time, I went in and stole a Polaroid picture of him that was on the employee recommendations board. I still have it,” said Kristal Akhavan, a third-year communications studies student.

“In middle school, I three-way called a girl with my friends and told her that we didn’t like her anymore,” said Raisa Zaidi, a third-year political science student, still cringing at the memory.

Admittedly, it is awkward, uncomfortable and ridiculous to blurt something out in front of complete strangers, but the evidence is hard to fight.

Freddy’s is always bursting with readers and listeners during Cringe Night, making it obvious that the tense and sweaty little act of revelation is good for the chi.

Why else would people come back? Also, look at the success of PostSecret.com. Started by Frank Warren, this site invites people to mail in their secrets on postcards, no matter what they are. The hushed whispers of thousands of Americans are now published in three best-selling books, with the fourth one on its way.

Warren has also visited UCLA to showcase his art and his ideas and is a popular figure with Bruins with even a Facebook site dedicated to him.

We have our secrets folded into the corners of our minds, hanging there like cobwebs in a forgotten old chamber. Cringe Night at Kerckhoff might be the exact remedy for heavy hearts.

Try it out, tell a stranger a secret today.

E-mail Joshi your secrets at rjoshi@media.ucla.edu. Send general comments to viewpoint@media.ucla.edu.

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