Put some life into those dead locks

Hair is like Marilyn Monroe: fashionable but dead.

But what does this mean to you?

It means you are making a conscious decision to have a certain “fashion” just by wearing your hair a particular way.

Nearly every other part of fashion can be avoided, but hairstyles are unavoidable. The hair just grows out of us ““ it’s natural.

And hair is dead. This means that there are many more possibilities for hair contortions and modifications compared to the rest of the living body, and also a lot more room for damage: We can’t feel the damage we do to our hair.

Luckily for you, I have spent some years toiling away in research, having been my own personal hair stylist.

This means I have screwed up my hair in every possible way, so that you, my wonderful readers, don’t have to.

Your hairs are like very elongated artichokes ““ the “cuticles” of your precious follicles are folded on top of one another. When hair is dyed, it opens up these artichoke scales, or cuticles of your hair, thus damaging it and depositing pigment or lightening it.

The more you do it, the more easily your hair can absorb color. Yet the more you do it, the more easily the color falls out. The cuticles get “loose,” so to speak.

Don’t use dye on your hair two days in a row, or three. Especially bleach.

Trust me, I’ve tried it. Unfortunately.

When purchasing hair dye, get a low-ammonia brand, because the same ammonia-filled process that allows the color to appear on your hair can also have a contrary function ““ helping color disappear faster.

Red dye always fades. Always. No exceptions. Dye accordingly.

If you are willing to have shorter hair than you intend, and are open to experimental hairstyles (or embarrassing salon visits), then go ahead and cut your own hair.

If not, think twice about taking the scissors to your precious locks.

When going to the salon, bring or draw a picture of the hairstyle you want, or aspects of it at least.

Take the time to explain to your stylist your pet peeves about hair, as one person’s good haircut is another person’s ponytail-under-a-hat for six months.

Your hair will not do something other than what it normally does without hair product. Under almost no circumstances will a haircut magically transform your hair into something totally different.

Just go ahead and buy the blow-dry serum/curl-enhancing gel/whatever, because putting a little product on your hair in the morning and not having to worry about hating your hair for the rest of the day is easier than getting a new haircut.

Heat damage does exist. Flat iron with this in mind. Also be careful that your hair is completely dry when flat ironing. The rising steam can burn your scalp or fingers ““ ouch!

Though hair is dead, it can still become unhealthy.

Hair health is closely integrated with the way we treat it. No hair ties with metal fasteners; they break your hair. Don’t tousle your hair dry with a towel; just gently squeeze the water out, as hair is vulnerable when wet.

Hair is distinct, always a part of fashion and a reflection of your personality.

To be happy with your hair, you have to do something you like with it. Finding a low-maintenance hairstyle and hair product that works for you can brighten your daily routine every morning when you look in the mirror.

Once you’ve found that, it’s easy to love your hair.

E-mail your hairiest salon stories to Rood at drood@media.ucla.edu.

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