Do yourself a favor, lose the facade and embrace your flaws

You’re so vain ““ you probably think this column is about you.

A recent study by researchers at San Diego State University revealed that two-thirds of college students scored above average on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory, 30 percent more students than 25 years ago.

Welcome to “Generation Me.”

But this narcissism reflects not just inflated egos but our intrinsic need to conceal insecurities. Our generation does not want to be perceived as weak; people try to exude self-confidence to encourage validation from their peers. This narcissistic facade is merely the vehicle in gathering this validation.

The NPI asks for responses to statements such as “If I ruled the world, it would be a better place” and “I believe I am special.”

The authors of the study believe the rise in egotism can be traced to the “self-esteem movement” of the 1980s. From a young age, we were ingrained with the idea that to be happy and successful, people must perceive us as confident, as leaders, as special or better than everyone else. We are encouraged to come across as extroverted and self-assured even if we shy away from being noticed.

Now with the creation of YouTube, Facebook and MySpace, self-expression has turned into self-promotion. We choose the pictures where we look the best. We type the movies we think will portray us in that certain light of artiness, intellect or coolness. We create this person we believe people will like: those same people whom we like, whom we want to be like.

We cover up our insecurities with a virtual illusion. We can create a perfect person, even though our profiles may be complete exaggerations. Our narcissism has come full circle: If we can make others believe in our molded existence, we are just as we say we are. We are special.

We believe that if we mold or pick these superficial determinants correctly, as if there were a correct formula for an ideal person, then people will find us more likable, more confident, more unique.

Through this quest we lose self-awareness. We lose sight of who we are and are consumed with who we want to be. We cannot step back and identify where there needs to be self-improvement and when we need support.

“Society has changed and become more critical of people,” Alisha Nekota, a first-year life science student, said. “The way the media scrutinizes celebrities is reflective of the way we look at our peers and ourselves. It’s almost as if we look for flaws.”

But is it so bad to be honest with oneself and others about one’s flaws? Do we want to delude ourselves and others with this fake us?

I don’t want to spend my whole life struggling to be something I’m not. Everyone wants to be confident, but not so narcissistic that we lose our true selves.

Yet that is what is happening to our generation.

The key is self-consciousness and knowing when we are not being honest. We need to realize that honesty with ourselves allows us to make a change rather than just ignore a problem.

“Self-improvement is a positive thing,” said Megan Reid, a first-year undeclared student. “Recognizing weaknesses and knowing that they aren’t bad, and working off of that, is a good thing, as opposed to pretending to be something we aren’t.”

Of course, we shouldn’t hit the other end of the spectrum and embrace self-deprecation. A level of confidence is necessary to get us through this rather critical world.

However, when this confidence overshadows the reality of self, we have created a narcissistic facade.

Everyone has their insecurities, yet in no way should they force us to create a false persona.

Yeah, we are special, even with our flaws.

If you can stop looking in the mirror for a moment, e-mail Bissell at abissell@media.ucla.edu.

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