My friends tease me about dying, but the chances of that have got to be really slim.
Still, you tell someone on campus that you’re training for the Los Angeles Marathon and they look at you like you’re humming the USC fight song. It’s just not normal.
But to me, running has always come naturally. Skinny guys don’t play football or wrestle, they run away from the bullies who play those sports.
A late-night run is a relaxation method that is far superior to (not to mention more manly than) the likes of meditation and yoga. Additionally, since I am not native to Los Angeles, running is a great way to see the city and the beach. It’s also a great excuse to wear short shorts in public (once again, manly).
The average runner who wants to simply finish a marathon should train about four months prior, building up to 40+ miles a week before tapering off a couple weeks before the actual race.
When deciding to run my first marathon, I came to discover that most marathon runners are middle-aged men and women going through what I presume to be their midlife crises. They have a void and must fill it with the accomplishment of finishing a marathon. The average male finisher in 2006 was 41 years old, according to marathonguide.com, and the average female finisher was 36 years old.
I must be going through a quarter-life crisis because according to the Web site, only about 4 percent of marathon finishers are younger than 25.
An added advantage of training is that I’ve been able to have more carbohydrates. Everyone loves that extra bread roll the Atkins diet is heavily against.
Avoiding greasy foods, however, has definitely been a must. Have you ever gone on a 10-mile run after eating a Rendezvous bagel sandwich? I have; not fun.
Also, make sure to lock up that liquor cabinet. I’m not going to comment on my consistency with this one since it is my 21st birthday today (and mom is reading), but you know what I mean.
It’s good to stay away from cotton clothing (doesn’t breathe well) and invest in a decent pair of running shoes. To prevent blisters on my overlapping toes, I sometimes wrap them with Band-Aids or medical tape.
In the beginning of my serious marathon training three months ago (yes, I know, I’m kind of winging it) I quickly found out that I was a little out of shape, although I never remember being in shape, so go figure. I had to start saying no to that delicious brownie goo and smelling my open water bottles to make sure my roommates weren’t trying to pull a trick on me when I take a swig in the morning.
All runners are different. Some love the track so they can keep a close count of their miles, others love the treadmill so they can be bored out of their mind, and some (myself) like running to a destination.
Run to the beach, run to the store, run somewhere. Destinations make running enjoyable and knowing how far I ran makes me feel accomplished. Just make sure to follow all traffic lights; I’ve had some close encounters with vehicles (and drivers) during my training.
Mental preparation has always been an important factor. Before long runs I must plan out my distance in advance to stay disciplined. A five-mile run is 20 laps, nothing more, nothing less.
Pace is altered when distance is added and, while spontaneity is a great life quality, adding extra unplanned miles can drive a man crazy.
On Sunday, I would like to finish the marathon in less than five hours and not walk or stop. That’s an average of just less than 11 and half minutes a mile. It shouldn’t be too much of a problem, barring injury.
The biggest concern I have is finishing in a decent time and not embarrassing myself now that this column is out for the world to read.
I also hope to see some friends at the finish line; it would be nice to know I’m loved and not have to walk home afterward.
So now training is basically over. Sunday is the day. The Los Angeles Marathon is one of the biggest marathons in the country. There will be about 20,000 runners and 1 million spectators attending. By then I should have my iPod playlist in order, Band-Aids wrapped around little piggies, and short shorts tied. See you at the finish line.
E-mail Reed at sreed@media.ucla.edu if you think he might die this weekend.