I am ashamed of you, Cartoon Network.
First you hired two scuzzy-looking performance artists to post cute little Lite-Brite-like advertisements on conspicuous public structures in Boston, which caused widespread panic as public officials spent an entire day figuring out if the advertisements were actually bombs, costing the city tons of money.
I was totally cool with this.
But then, instead of providing your normally clever comments like those in-between shows on your late-night cartoon lineup, Adult Swim, viewers were treated to something completely different: a very mature apology.
What were you thinking?
As a regular viewer and fan of several of the shows on Adult Swim, I felt betrayed.
Adult Swim was something I thought I could trust. It understands why college students and recent graduates feel like the structured worlds of academia or the workforce stifle their creativity.
So it helps repressed audiences everywhere rebel against The Man by providing them with cartoons.
“We get you,” these outrageous animations seemed to be telling us.
Until now, of course.
Rebels do not apologize. At least not when they didn’t do anything wrong. People like the Dixie Chicks apologize in cases like that ““ and there’s a reason no one likes the Dixie Chicks.
But groveling because a police squad couldn’t tell the difference between an electronic light board and a bomb, all of which happened after the advertisements had been posted in nine different cities without incident?
People need to take responsibility for their own stupidity.
I was especially offended after watching the press conference held with two of the young men hired to put the advertisements on display.
Not because the pair insisted the media only ask them questions related to hair, but because no one from Cartoon Network was there to express how incredibly lame it was to bring criminal charges against them.
While the self-important reporters tried to insist that the pair take their questions seriously, one of the accused tossed back his dreadlocks while politely requesting that the media “please don’t interrupt” while they discussed the hairstyles of the 1970s.
Well, that’s at least two people involved with the scandal who haven’t misplaced their balls yet. But by leaving the accused men out in the cold, it seems that Cartoon Network has permanently lost theirs.
The danger of acquiescing to the requests for apologies or money from the city of Boston doesn’t just amount to losing a little bit of face or forcing a pair of young men to endure an uncomfortable spotlight for a while.
It lies in the fact that rewarding people for being irrational encourages others to be just as dim-witted.
The reason why we occasionally see stories in the news about a wave of kindergartners suddenly being expelled for shouting “bang bang” during a game of cops and robbers is because we allow people in power to take themselves too seriously.
These types of no-tolerance attitudes only serve to distract the public from legitimate ways of actually preventing other unfortunate events from happening.
According to CNN.com, “Boston Police Commissioner Edward Davis said it was “˜unconscionable’ that the marketing campaign was executed in a post 9/11 era.”
I suppose in this post-9/11 world, we should ban tall buildings and airplanes too.
In fact, no one should be allowed to say “kaboom” ever again.
What’s truly unthinkable is that it took the city several hours and an estimated $1 million to figure out that Boston was not about to be blown to smithereens.
Instead of an apology, Cartoon Network should be issuing a “you’re welcome” to Boston for pointing out how incompetent the people charged with the city’s safety are.
I would have even been okay with Cartoon Network shelling out the bucks to reimburse Boston for their stupid mistake, just to be nice.
But to accept that slap on the wrist silently, to bow your head in deference to The Man through an apology ““ even if in the end you’re secretly glad this publicity stunt went as far as it did and even if your parent company, Turner Broadcasting, is pressuring you to do it ““ isn’t being the Adult Swim so many of us knew and loved.
It’s more like being the Dixie Chicks. And who wants to watch those losers?
Disagree with Strickland? Send her the Mooninite middle finger at kstrickland@media.ucla.edu. Send general comments to viewpoint@media.ucla.edu.