What is USC without football?

First things first ““ I hate USC.

I know, hate’s a strong word. I’m using it
anyway.

Don’t get me wrong, I have friends and even family members
who go there, and them I like. And I’m sure there are plenty
of USC students and alumni with whom I would get along, too (OK,
maybe not plenty, but at least a handful). Still, over the past few
years, I’ve come to a valuable conclusion: The University of
Southern Cal is one of the most pompous, classless and nauseating
organizations I’ve ever encountered.

That’s why Saturday was so sweet.

It was not only a spectacular game that I will remember for a
very, very long time that made me proud to attend UCLA, it also
opened up an important question about the Bruins’ rivals from
across town.

What is USC without football?

As of right now, I have no answer. But I will try.

I’ll admit it, my experiences with “˜SC have made me
biased. Having endured middle-aged drunks with their families
taunting UCLA students at the Coliseum and old women decked out in
diamonds scoffing at opponents wearing the “wrong”
colors, I don’t hold much esteem for USC.

All year long, until Saturday at about 4 o’clock, I had
heard “66-19″ talk of the “non-rivalry” the
UCLA-USC football game had become. It was as if that was all they
had to hang their hats on.

Maybe it’s true.

What else is there for ‘SC, behind the cocky gleam of the
Trojan band’s helmets and the “We’ll poke your
eyes out” V-for-victory sign?

For starters, they’ve got a great film department.

… I guess that’s for finishers, too, because
that’s about all I can think of.

What exactly are USC students paying $47,000 a year for?

Maybe you could count some of the Trojan
“traditions.” For example, the rebel-yell thing every
‘SC fan hums during one of their fight songs, or the parade
they have before every home game, full of Mercedes-Benzes, BMWs,
Porsches and Hummers adorned with USC bumper stickers and license
plates.

Behind the ostentatious campus and the pretentious show of
money, at the heart of the school is maybe just an idea driving it
all: “We’re better than you.”

No part of the school would exemplify such a twisted ideology
more than the football program. Even Kevin Merfeld, a writer for
USC’s Daily Trojan, called his own team out in a column on
Tuesday, saying, “An arrogance has taken over the
program.”

He’s wrong. Arrogance has not taken over the program
““ arrogance was born into the school.

Saturday’s upset wiped the smug grins off USC’s
bandwagon-fans’ faces and brought the entire school down a
couple pegs.

Maybe if football wasn’t all that the Trojans had, defeat
wouldn’t be so hard on their heart-broken fans.

Last week, in a column titled “A bad time to be a
Bruin,” a Daily Trojan writer wrote that at UCLA, a student
is just a number. Actually, I’ve got two.

13-9.

At USC, it’s a bad time to be a Trojan. And whether there
ever was a good time, I’m not so sure.

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