I tend to spend most of my fall Saturdays sitting on the couch
with the remote in one hand and a slice of pizza in the other,
joining millions of sports fans across the country in the weekly
tradition of college football. Although part of being a fan means
dedicating my Saturdays to the four-letter gods that are TiVo and
ESPN, not all of being a fan revolves around the tough activity of
watching TV.
As football season hits full stride, it is important to
understand what it means to be a true fan. Sure, spending Saturdays
in your team’s colors finding bowl game implications in Week
3 games is fun and all, but being a real fan is much more.
Here are eight rules of how to be a true fan:
1. If you stop following your team when it is losing, you are
not a fan. It’s easy to jump on the bandwagon and buy season
tickets when your team is winning championships. If this sounds
like you, you are what they call a USC “fan.” (Or even
Stanford, for that matter. Even a shiny new stadium can’t
sell tickets to watch their suffering squads). Following your team
in the dark days will only make the great wins greater. The Beatles
needed the Rolling Stones, Diane Sawyer needed Katie Couric, and
winning needs losing. Winning without the pained years of
disappointment just doesn’t mean as much.
2. A win’s a win. Don’t whine about the score, just
take the “W” and move on. Just be glad you’re not
the Temple Owls (3-34 since 2003).
3. We know your grandma could’ve made that play, but after
the coach goes to the bench, you no longer have a right to
complain. You called for the second-stringer; don’t be
surprised to find out that he is second string for a reason.
4. Do your research. An opposing player may have taken a few too
many tries to pass the SAT or an opposing coach may have an
embarrassing arrest record ““ all of that is fair taunting
material, but avoid unoriginal material. Chanting, “You
suck!” is no funnier the 35th time than it was the first
time.
5. The game’s about substance, not flashiness ““ same
with being a fan. You may have the authentic jersey with the
matching paint job on your car, but that means nothing if you
don’t know your place kicker from your punter. Don’t
embarrass the rest of the real fans with your constant games of
football “Guess Who?”
6. A real fan neither does “the wave” nor buys food
during play.
7. Be gracious in victory. True fans show class after big wins.
Mocking losing team’s fans is only appropriate if they start
it. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t mind running up the
score against rivals, but when it comes to teams that you’re
supposed to beat, lay off the jeering.
8. Keep the faith. True fans stick by their teams. They
don’t change the channel when the team is losing or leave
early just because it’s a blowout. Do this and you’re
no better than the “fans” dressed in red and gold.
E-mail Jason at jfeder@media.ucla.edu if your grandmother
could have made that play.