He thinks about the war every day. Back at home, thousands of
miles away from the war, there are the little things that take
Russell Burgos’ thoughts back to the Middle East. The sounds
of helicopters remind him of his experiences in the Army. Even the
smells of gasoline and diesel fuel provoke memories of war. The
political science professor and UCLA alumnus served in the Army
from 1983 to 2004, ending with his participation as a general
contractor for the military in the war in Iraq. Now, a new
generation of young people training to serve in the military,
including Reserve Officer Training Corps students at UCLA, will
experience the physical and mental impact of war. Growing up in a
military family, second-year business economics student Bridgette
Tuquero knew since she was young that she wanted to continue the
family tradition. The Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks only
reaffirmed her beliefs. Dan Nelson, a fourth-year history student,
joined ROTC last spring, but said he has always intended to enter
the military after graduation ““ an ambition that stems from
the impact he felt after the events of Sept. 11. But regardless of
their motivations for joining the military, to Burgos these
students have yet to grow and be a part of an experience that has
sculpted his own life. “The people that come back in their
bodies are not the 18- or 19-year-olds that left,” he said.
“It happens to everybody. After war, it’s a different
way of understanding life.”
A family tradition Her grandfather was in the Navy, her uncles
were in the Navy and Army, and her father attended the United
States Military Academy at West Point. Tuquero said she loved the
idea of being part of something venerated in her family. She loves
the sense of honor that comes with serving in the military. She
loved the intensity she experienced through the ROTC simulated
field training. The events of Sept. 11 and the ensuing war on
terrorism, she said, only assured her commitment. “It has
given me more of a reason to be in the military,” Tuquero
said. “It really made me even more sure about my career goals
and how I would serve my country.” She said she remembers
waking up the morning of Sept. 11 five years ago to her alarm clock
radio. The disc jockey had announced that attacks had occurred at
the World Trade Center. As she went downstairs for breakfast, she
remembered seeing live the second plane hit the second tower.
“I couldn’t believe we were so vulnerable to terrorism
attacks and for it to happen on our home front,” Tuquero
said. “There’s still danger out there that needs to be
confronted and I want to do what I can to minimize the danger to
make America safer.” Tuquero is part of a new generation of
recruits who are entering the military, knowing their path will
eventually lead to the Middle East and the ongoing war on
terrorism. For some, this is a reason they have decided to enlist
in the first place. “You’re no longer just serving in
peacetime,” Tuquero said. “You’re actually going
to be serving your country. Now you’re fighting people who
are directly impacting your country.” As a member of ROTC,
her experience has been limited to combat training simulations. And
after “saving” a downed pilot and secured areas from
“enemy forces,” she said she is even more excited for
what is to happen next. “I want to give back not only to my
generation but future generations as well,” Tuquero said.
A different playing field It is a few days before the UCLA v.
Rice football game. As a fullback for the UCLA football team,
Nelson spends his time on the field worrying mostly about
protecting his quarterback from the defensive linemen. In a year,
other worries will come to mind as he is placed in a different
playing field. Nelson joined ROTC last spring, but he has always
thought about entering the military after graduation. He said he
thinks about Sept. 11 daily. The images of the planes hitting the
Twin Towers continue to echo in his mind five years later. He
watched documentaries, read books, studied the 9/11 Commission
Report ““ anything having to do with Sept. 11 ““ and
continuously discussed them with his friends, his wife, his family.
He said he had to. Sept. 11 continued to bother him. Nelson said he
made it a goal to join the military after he graduated college,
knowing the road was leading to the Middle East and the war on
terrorism. “After (Sept. 11) things really changed. People
don’t just join the military because it’s something to
do or an adventure. Now, when people join the military they know
exactly what they’re getting into,” Nelson said. He
said that before Sept. 11 he was a tough guy who wanted to go out
and prove himself and be part of something elite. So he enlisted in
the military, but for personal reasons was unable to complete his
term of service. But after Sept. 11, he knew he wanted to return to
the military. “I haven’t done a thing. It’s a job
unfinished,” Nelson said. And though he eventually stopped
talking about Sept. 11 on a regular basis, five years later he said
he still thinks daily about the events and their impact. “It
feels totally unresolved. It angers me,” he said.
“There’s an extreme level of feeling that there’s
no justice in my mind. I can’t let that slide and live
happily. “It seemed like everyone moved on but me.”
Groundhog Day War soon became just a routine to Burgos. He said
people in the military called war “Groundhog Day.” The
routine, the repetition of daily life in combat zones, paralleled
the plot of the Bill Murray movie in which a man gets stuck in a
time warp and has to relive the same day over and over again. Not
being able to bathe for days or find a bathroom became a routine.
Getting shot at became a routine. Burgos remembers passing by the
military recruitment tables back in 1983, during his undergraduate
years at Loyola Marymount University. The Army booth was the first
table in the row. He said that without much thought, he decided to
enlist ““ a moment of spontaneity aimed to cure boredom and
instigate adventure after his college graduation. While serving in
the military, he learned to keep fears suppressed in his mind. He
learned to conceal any war-related anxiety in front of his
comrades. And soon this became just another routine ““ it was
something he learned through the pressures he faced from his peers.
“You don’t want to show inhibition,” Burgos said.
“You don’t want to be seen scared. And that seems
routine. You suppress that human emotion out of the
necessity.” He said he could always tell the
“new” people from the “old” people by what
they wore and how they acted. Their uniforms were still new and
their weapons were not yet worn. The normality of war had yet to
hit them. Some of these soldiers join the military as a means of
employment. Others, such as Tuquero, join to continue a family
tradition. Then there are those who join because of Sept. 11, such
as Nelson. Though each person’s reason to join the military
is different, Burgos said the effect of war on each person is the
same ““ an impact that promotes growth and maturity and brands
the military as more than just a lifestyle, but a custom. He said
the person he was up until college had disappeared and an elder
character had developed within him. “When the biggest problem
your college roommate deals with is what club he can get into,
while yours is how many guys you have to kill, you learn a very
different way of life,” Burgos said. This process, he said,
is something most people have who served in war have experienced.
“It’s inevitable. After experiencing war, a sense of
their life will end and they will become a new person after
that,” Burgos said. Though he is a generation ahead of
Tuquero and Nelson, Burgos said they will be affected the same way
he was during his service. “I thought (Sept. 11) was a
tragedy, but it was the same old world it has always been,”
he said. “It was a world of threats, of opposition. War has
not changed.” And though war and threats have not
disappeared, Burgos said he misses life in the military. He misses
the camaraderie between him and his military friends. He misses the
local Iraqis he worked with as a general contractor. He said he
remembers their generosity. During lunch breaks, they insisted on
sharing their local food with him. They invited him to sit down to
eat, allowing him to have first pick of their meat and vegetables
even though they made only $10 a day. “I’d go back to
visit them,” Burgos said. “Well, the ones who are still
alive.”