As I walked into my new dorm room and greeted my new roommates
in the fall of 2004, I was nervous.
Really nervous.
My roommates’ parents were long gone as my family (for
which the term “punctuality” holds no meaning) arrived
to move in early in the evening. With a few handshakes, Joey was
already schmoozing with my parents, while Calvin was offering to
help unload my stuff.
I was a little embarrassed when my dad decided to get Joey,
Calvin and me into a line for a photo on his camera phone. But
within a few hours, we were all smiles (and not the awkward kind),
and we were already beginning to make friends with the others on
our floor.
For a moment as big as moving into your college dorm, it’s
normal to be nervous. As soon as you step foot in your dorm
building, it’s nearly impossible not to be. But for me, the
best way to become comfortable at my new school was meeting
people.
Of course, you make an effort to make a good first impression on
your roommates (hopefully), but it’s not like the first
two-minute interactions with anyone you meet are going to define
anything. I worried that the entire ordeal would be awkward and
people would think I was weird (actually, I pretty much took that
for granted).
But it’s important to remember that everyone’s
starting at the same place. Even if those first moments with your
roommates or soon-to-be friends on your floor are awkward ones, it
is better to break the ice than let the awkwardness prevent you
from getting comfortable.
After our move-in, my floor sat down for dinner in De Neve
Dining Hall, with a good 20 or more people scrunched together,
tray-to-tray, eating while trying to make friends at the same
time.
As we took our seats to get our first taste of the fine dining
that would serve us all year long, I found myself sitting across
from someone I knew from Facebook ““ you might actually find
yourself doing that more than once.
I recognized her face: Her name was Taleen. I said hello,
mentioned our “friendship” and, in classic form, tried
to pronounce her last name from memory.
Of course, me pronouncing Armenian last names is like watching a
caveman try to explain he is hungry: half sad, half offensive and
all awkward.
But instead of complete humiliation, we laughed. Maybe a bit
nervously, but we did, and it was nice.
The ice was broken, and even though I knew I wasn’t Joe
Cool from the start, it was a start nonetheless.
In addition to being nervous about meeting new people, I also
found that everyone comes into UCLA with at least one worry about
school or social life. Mine was partying. I’ve never been the
biggest party animal, as I never partied in high school. Ever.
I barely knew how to spell alcohol, let alone drink it.
My conception of college from the outset was that everyone
parties, and while everyone is boozing it up at frat parties, I
figured I would be pretty much the lamest person here.
So maybe that second part hasn’t changed, but the remedy
was that, in addition to beginning a new year together, my
roommates and floor friends had more in common with me than I might
have assumed, and that common ground made me much more comfortable
with going to parties.
As I got to know my new friends more and more, partying took the
backseat to friendship.
Singing Third Eye Blind into the wee hours of the night or
trick-or-treating throughout Westwood homes, dressed as Power
Rangers and storybook characters, became our memories.
And even when I did decide to drink, none other than my good
friend Robert, a neighbor on my floor, was there to see me through
all the vomit, stumbling and UCPD patrol cars.
It’s funny, looking back on the past two years of college.
I can’t imagine any of my roommates and floor friends not
being part of my life. I don’t mean to be all mushy, but
finding those friends early on, though it may have been awkward,
was the best decision I could have made when I got to UCLA.
So when it’s your turn to walk into your new dorm and
shake hands with your new roommates and all you can think about is
not being awkward, remember that meeting these people will help you
overcome the fears you may have about starting school at UCLA.
If you’re looking forward to making friends with
Lipkin (and have meal swipes to spare), drop him a line at
dlipkin@media.ucla.edu.