I managed to avoid the dentist for four years, from freshman
year to this past April. They discovered five holes in my teeth.
That got me thinking.
Here we are, at the end, and what have I really accomplished in
college? I am still 5 feet, 3 inches tall. I live in a silver Ikea
bunk bed made for kids. I have not gotten over my fear of
earthworms. Still, it hasn’t all been a waste.
Studying comparative politics, I read quite a bit about the role
of transparency in democracy. So I thought I’d give readers a
glimpse into what really happens at the Daily Bruin:
“Stop rubbing your vagina and write a story.”
““ Kelly to Diamond (Diamond is a guy. Actually, so is
Kelly.)
“Real liberals don’t have families. They just have
loose associates.” ““ Charles
Rob: Is that someone’s urine?
Rachel: No, it’s apple juice.
Rob: That’s probably why it’s so frothy.
“Here; you pretend to be the director of the African
American studies department, and I’ll pretend to be your
source.” ““ Narges to Adam, one Friday long ago in the
News department
Still, crude jokes and evil snickers aside, we produce a
newspaper every day. Diamond eventually stopped rubbing his vagina
and got around to typing something up.
At a school without a journalism department, I got a great
education in that field.
I remember spending two euro at a computer kiosk in Spain, the
only money I had, so I could frantically piece together an article
from overseas. I remember running to the emergency room at midnight
after a police officer shot a homeless man in Kerckhoff Hall.
I’ve spent about 2,376 hours over four years arguing with
my coworkers, yelling and throwing things at them, only to realize
half the time that I was probably wrong and they were probably
right.
I learned a lot here. I learned that news isn’t about
places, things or events, but about people.
I learned about ethics. I learned to tell stories. Most
importantly, I learned to compromise with a hobbit.
This was the most I ever loved anything, the most fun I ever
had.
And here we are, at the end.
Sofia is Pinky. E-mail The Brain at
chsu@media.ucla.edu.