Impeach the president! Turns out, it's possible.

I would bet a few dollars that most of you are not particularly
pleased with the president’s performance at the moment.
I’d also bet many of you would like to see him out of office.
After all, according to the most recent polls, only between 29
percent and 33 percent of Americans approve of the job he’s
doing. With the new National Security Agency revelations, zero good
news coming out of Iraq, and all the other accusations of President
Bush lying to the American people, the president’s approval
rating is down in what is known as “the Nixon zone,”
the technical definition of which is the point when most Americans
would prefer to be led by Cobra Commander than the
commander-in-chief. Dan Rather would probably call the
president’s current numbers “lower than a snake’s
rectum in wintertime.” The point is, Americans are feeling
antsy about George W. Bush.

Most of us feel like there’s not much we can do about our
disaffection; after all, no amount of rallying, student protesting,
or clever mangling of the president’s name on your blog is
likely to change the situation in Washington. Marches in downtown
Los Angeles are nice, but they only stay in the nation’s
consciousness for one or two news cycles. No matter what you or I
do, the president will still wake up in the Lincoln Bedroom
tomorrow ““ because Laura has banished him from his own
bedroom for misspelling her name on a Mother’s Day bouquet
““ and get to make the fateful decisions of this nation. Or
will he?

Great state of Vermont, stand and be recognized! I have made fun
of you before, but you have rushed to the rescue with the most
important breakthrough in grassroots activism since the invention
of Birkenstocks. Over the past couple months, various townships in
Vermont have made national news by calling for the impeachment of
Bush. However, such calls made only so much noise until, according
to The American Prospect, a Rutland, Vt., man stumbled across an
arcane, never-used provision ““ Section 603 ““ of a
parliamentary manual written by Thomas Jefferson that forces the
House of Representatives to consider impeachment proceedings
submitted by a state legislature. The Rutland County Democratic
Committee adopted the call for impeachment, which became known as
the Rutland Resolution, as did several other cities in Vermont.
Rep. Dave Zuckerman, P-Burlington, submitted the Rutland Resolution
to the Vermont Legislature on April 26.

Other states have followed Vermont’s lead. Illinois Rep.
Karen Yarbrough, D-Maywood, joined by two colleagues, has submitted
a resolution under Section 603 to the Illinois General Assembly,
and California Assemblyman Paul Koretz ““ who represents
Westwood and much of West Los Angeles ““ has submitted his own
resolution to the California Assembly, according to the Sacramento
News & Review.

Suddenly, town halls across the U.S. are holding impeachment
hearings against the president of the United States. Petitions are
circulating, urging the state legislatures with impeachment
proposals to pass them. It has the potential to be the most
triumphant volley from the poor little states across the bow of the
big, bad federal government since Wyoming beat the Department of
Commerce in checkers in 1962. However, let’s not get ahead of
ourselves ““ once the House of Representatives receives any
impeachment proposal from a state legislature, it will of course
quash that proposal like a bug. But Section 604 of
Jefferson’s manual states that the House must act on an
impeachment proceeding before it deals with any other business. In
other words, the House will be required to squash the impeachment
proposal immediately and very publicly. So it would be a pretty big
deal, as far as meaningless gestures go, but it would still be only
a gesture.

Some, however, are against the gesture; they think it can only
give ammunition to Republicans in the midterm elections. But I fail
to see how this is possible; why would threatening to fire the boss
give momentum to his management team? Since he won’t be
impeached unless Democrats take back the House (and even then,
probably not), submitting such articles of impeachment would merely
be a pretty good indication to Bush and his posse that we Americans
take sucking at your job pretty seriously when it’s the most
important job in the world.

So there is something disaffected students can do, after all.
Where once we were merely able to call Bush names or to suggest
improper places where the president can “stick it,” we
can now sign the online petitions urging Illinois and Vermont to
pass their versions of Section 603. We can notify Koretz and the
other California General Assembly members that we’d like
California to pull ahead in the Most Wackjob Lefty Communist State
race by passing its version first. In essence, we can stand up and
make our voices heard in places where it might actually have some
benefit.

And to think we have only Vermont to thank. I, for one, am going
to stop buying Canadian maple syrup.

If you are responsible for the random 3 a.m. explosions on
Midvale Avenue, e-mail Atherton at datherton@media.ucla.edu so he
can forcefully express his displeasure. With a bat. Send general
comments to viewpoint@media.ucla.edu.

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