Standing in a hotel lobby waiting for her husband, she ““ a
mother of two, wife, published author and well-known researcher
““ was mistaken for a prostitute.
It wasn’t that she had on revealing clothing or said
anything that could be misconstrued as a sexual offer of any
kind.
Gail Wyatt says it was color and gender: the brown color of her
female skin.
The stereotypes of black women and men as promiscuous and
oversexualized are just part of the areas of research Wyatt, a
professor in the department of psychiatry and biobehavioral
sciences, has spent the past few decades studying.
Wyatt ““ who is also a clinical psychologist, sex
therapist, associate director of the UCLA AIDS Institute and
director of UCLA Sexual Health Programs ““ has done research
on the impact of sexual violence on women; the effects of abuse,
whether they are emotional, physical and sexual; and relationships.
She has also worked to find an AIDS vaccine.
But she said sometimes people stop at the color of her skin and
think that tells them all they need to know about her.
“I couldn’t figure out how in the world I perpetuate
the stereotype. It wasn’t about me. It was about my color and
gender … two powerful elements of social interaction,” she
said.
Wyatt was trained as a sex therapist at UCLA. She wrote her
first grant and received funds in 1980 from the National Institute
of Mental Health and began performing studies regarding the
definitions of stereotypes about blacks.
Wyatt said the media plays a big part in endorsing these sexual
stereotypes.
“Music videos and movies are the gatekeepers … of some
of the oldest stereotypes. Most of the stereotypes are extremely
negative and devalue the African American body and devalue
relationships,” she said.
Judith Resell, who worked with Wyatt on some of her projects,
said Wyatt is unique in the content of her research.
“She’s really quite a brilliant scientist,”
she said.
Wyatt spends time counseling couples about their relationships
as well as single students concerned about a variety of issues,
including regretting having sex with someone and questions about
their sexual orientation.
Wyatt said many people do not know how to make healthy decisions
about sex and that holidays ““ even Valentine’s Day
““ should not impact an individual’s decision whether to
have sex.
“If you have sex too soon, it’s like having sex with
a stranger,” she said. “Sex has a context. It’s
not really an experience that is supposed to be anonymous. Your
body is not geared for that.”
Wyatt said hugging people as an affirmation of friendship with
them can be more meaningful than having sex on Valentine’s
Day with a person one is not prepared to have sex with yet.
She said many students have misconceptions about sex, such as
the idea that it is “good all the time” or that it is a
tool to further a relationship.
Wyatt also said the reality is that sex can actually break up a
relationship.
“It can really destroy something that could have been good
if you had taken your time,” she said.
For those who have pledged celibacy until marriage, Wyatt says
to make sure they are prepared in case they do not go through with
the pledge.
Wyatt also said many people who pledge celibacy end up having
sex before marriage and are unprepared, as their first time is
spontaneous and they do not use protection.
For this reason, Wyatt said even people who are planning to wait
should make sure they know about protecting themselves in case they
change their minds about being celibate.
She also said people who are planning to wait should be
“real about it.”
“So you’re having oral sex. You’re having sex
before marriage. Get real,” she said. “There’s no
way to squiggle out of it. If you’re going to wait, wait.
Rechannel all that energy (into a hobby). Don’t try to
redefine sex. It doesn’t work that way.”
Edwin Bayrd, an associate director at the UCLA AIDS Institute,
said Wyatt is an “extraordinary force of nature.”
“She’s a complete delight as a human being, and I
only wish I had more reasons to work directly with her,” he
said.