You can tell a lot about a party, or party-goers for that
matter, by checking out the food table.
One of my good friends from high school best summed up this idea
when we were in the middle of a fight over how much food to buy for
a party we were hosting together. She didn’t want to spend
money on snacks, so she pointed out, “You can always tell if
it’s a bad party if everyone eats all the food.” I
responded that we didn’t want to look cheap by offering our
guests plain potato chips and the Costco pizza bites she’d
had in her freezer all year.
She had made a good point, however, and her comment has stuck
with me through the years as I’ve thrown and attended my
share of parties. Unless you have some amazing display that
involves fresh California rolls or something like that, the food
table is where people congregate when they’re either really
bored at a lame party, they don’t know anyone, or
they’re approaching party-tragedy status and their friends
sent them over to try to sober up.
I was most recently reminded of my friend’s comment when I
was flipping through the party pages in the January/February issue
of Hollywood Life and stopped to closely examine the pictures from
the Hollywood Style Awards. There, in the middle of all the photos
of celebrities like Carmen Electra, James Denton and Nicole Richie
posing and looking fabulous for the camera, was a photo of the
“scrumptious dessert towers.” The aforementioned
“dessert towers” were giant displays of Twinkies beside
other chocolates and cakes. And, in addition to the food, the photo
featured a lone unnamed guest helping herself to some of the
chocolate while all of the other guests stood with their backs to
the food table doing what the magazine called “mingling most
stylishly.”
It was at that moment that I realized the girl at the dessert
table was me. And let’s just say that you know you clearly
were not the life of the party when you find documentation of you
eating chocolate at a party like Kirstie Alley did pre-Jenny
Craig.
I tried to justify my loser status by saying that a Westwood
party the night before had left me swearing off alcohol for at
least five days. So the only thing tempting me at the Style Awards
was Sprite from the open bar and free food to ease my hangover.
And while the photo made me realize I was clearly out of my
league when it came to becoming part of the Hollywood party crowd,
I could have at least faked belonging if I’d opted to clutch
a martini rather than a food plate and actually talked to people
rather than giving off the appearance of having as many friends as
Britney Spears did in the season premiere of “Britney and
Kevin: Chaotic.”
Looking like you deserve to be party-edited at a Hollywood event
may make you look like a loser in a national magazine. But doing so
at a Westwood party might end up haunting you on Facebook now that
they added that feature where you can tag photos of friends.
Let’s just say I’ve had an unflattering photo in a
magazine. I’ve been lucky to avoid any overly embarrassing
party photos on Facebook so far. But be careful next time you go
out, because you never know who has a camera.
Every time she throws a party, Rodgers secretly hopes there
is lots of leftover food. E-mail her at
jrodgers@media.ucla.edu.